Grasping Love
by Mr. and Ms. Cuddles
Summary: All Jasper wants is to find a Mate. he thought he'd found one. He has changed everything he is to make her happy. A new town, a new student, and suddenly his 'mate' wants to complete their bond so that he wont get his true Mate. Who wins in the end?
1. Introduction and Excerpt of Mating

**DISCLAIMER: The book ****Vampire Life: Finding your Connections**** by Medow Vlad, and Cynthia Blyth are my own. Everything else belongs to S. Meyer and her publishing team. I own no rights to either books or movies. I would however like to point out that Twilight isn't a saga. Sagas are usually poetry. Then again Jasper is poetry so maybe it can be helped. **

**ANI have no beta reader yet. I was unable to get any email links to them to work. If anyone is interested please contact me. All mistakes are thus mine. This is unedited and I do apologize to those reading this.**

Her long brown hair was wafting, caught in the draft of cool air moaning out from the air conditioner. Shaking pale hands picked a leather coated book up from the peanutted box. Who ever had sent it did it without giving a return address. This was ridiculous. Scary too! It was not the only anonymous package she had ever received, it was just the only one that made her heart feel like it was going to jump out of her chest. She could feel it, in a place lodged under her sternum and above her stomach, the bubbling knowledge that this was important. More important then that stupid letter she received two years ago. The damn letter that started her on the path of knowing things that she wished she did not.

She almost wished she had never looked at the photos that came with that first letter. Absolute proof of the existence of the paranormal world. She had convinced herself it was doctored. That the letter with it was a huge joke. Then she got the DVD.

Damn DVD, a Disney movie, bootleg, or copied she was not sure. She only knew that it was supposed to be a Disney movie. And it was…until the middle of the movie when it cut off and showed something completely different. She did no know who the people in it were, nor did she know who the 'Vampires' were. At least not until the following letter. She probably would have thought the DVD was doctored had she not had an innocent enough looking clip sent to one of her fathers Forensic buddies comb over it and confirm it was real. All pixel things matched and whatnot.

Why her? She had stopped opening things for a while. Threw the letters away despite how curious she was, until she got a post card one day. She turned it over to a warning, telling her not to go to her friends house that evening. She scoffed and was going to go to spite the asshat who dragged her into a world of things she could have happily lived without knowing!

She had everything packed up to go. Had already discussed how she was getting to Chelsea's place and how she would be getting back in the morning. She said her goodbyes to her mother and Phil, her moms new boyfriend, and had went outside and started to walk the six blocks to Chlese's. She was halfway there when the nerves she was feeling broke through her iron denial. The fear sent shakes through her body. Not only did someone know where she lived, but her schedule. If that wasn't bad enough they told her not to go out. Were they telling her that if she went they would harm her friend? Or was it really just a warning that if she went something would happen. The post card claimed it was the second. That she would be harmed if she went. It claimed it was for her own safety. It was ridiculous and she really wanted to ignore it like she had been since she got it earlier that afternoon.

Was it worth the chance though? Chelsea would accept her not showing up. After all there were going to be about five other girls there, and Chelsea could always get her gift on her real birthday. Angry at herself for giving in to her stalkers warning, she had let out a groan and turned right around and returned home. It was nearing midnight when sirens were heard getting closer and closer. With a gasp she had jumped up and ran to her mothers room. After insisting they go to Chelsea's, her mom had reluctantly got up and drove her over.

They had arrived about twenty minutes after the first siren. Police tape was in the process of being put up. An ambulance was pulling away. Spectators were across the street. They hurried to join them after parking.

It had been Mrs. Hendersons' big mouth that appraised them of what she knew. There had been multiple gunshots accompanied by screaming. Two ambulances and one helicopter had already come and gone. The coroner turned up within minutes of them being there. News crews showed up, and live reports were given. Apparently Chelsea's big brother had sexually assaulted one of her friends when she was coming out of the bathroom. She had fought back enough to enrage him and draw attention from his parents. After she had went home, and he had been dealt with, the rest of the girls, who apparently had not been told what was going on and only that their friend was going home not feeling well, had settled down to watch some movies and gossip. The brothers rage apparently caused him to snap and he went downstair and opened the gun safe. He ended up killing all but Chelsea by the time he was done. Two of them had died on the way to the hospital. Parents had been shot running into the room to protect the girls and try to grab the gun. He was tried as an adult and ended up spending time in prison.

After that she never missed opening a letter. While she still hated finding out just what was out there, after the postcard the letters started being less about what was out there, and moved on to general information, warnings about problems, and even a few tidbits of personal things about her mystery stalker. Many of the letters still scared her, and the fact that the writer knew things about not just the supposed myths of thee world, but knew things about her was terrifying, she did come to fall into a strange kind of comfort with them.

With a sigh she took the replaced the book in the box and and retired to her room to read the book. After clearing all the peanuts out and placing the book on her soft purple blanket, she transferred all her letters and small gifts from her mystery informant to the box, folded the sides in to close it then slid it under her bed. It was the one place even her mom wouldn't look. According to her a Woman had to have a place to hide her 'treasure box full of fun.'

She plopped down and opened the book to the inside where she knew she'd find a message. She wasn't disappointed.

_Isabella,_

_ While everything I am sending you is important, this is perhaps one of the most valuable. I need you to hide it there for me until such a time as i can collect it. All of these were supposed to be burned. We were able to bury three copies before they were in my home searching for what they deemed inappropriate and dangerous to the exposure of our kind. Feel free to read through it. _

_ Sincerely,_

_ Deep Fang _

With almost reverence those pale small hands turned the published title. Then with a small laugh at  Vampire Life: Finding your Connections by Medow Vlad, she settled in to read

EXCERPT FROM Vampire Life: Finding your Connections by Medow Vlad,

All vampires have at least three mating connections. If a vampire is lucky enough to come across one of those connections they are usually quick to pounce on the first they come across, for better or worse, then chance never finding either of the other potential mates. When you claim one of those who have the potential mate bond you obviously become Mates.

Just because you find a mate though does not guarantee you a wonderful relationship. In fact I have come across quite a few Mates who could not stand each other while I was traveling. The only thing the potential mating bond does is bring you to someone who can increase your safety, happiness, and/or hunting efficiency. At least, that is one of the things a Mate guarantees you.

Even those Mates who hate each other will kill or die for the other. Strange? A bit, some of it is a supernatural glue. The Majority of Mates end up falling in love and being happy, or at least liking each other and finding a true friend above all. Its like any relationship really, just with Mother Natures little failsafe to keep enough Vampires alive, and give them a reason to want to live, so that we can maintain the balance of nature vs. humans.- After all if we do no maintain the balance then the environment will do it for us all, and that would be worse. After all it is LeChaterly's law: An environment that is not in balance will take measures to return the balance.

Who wants to live forever after all when there is nothing in it to make it worth it. o Or at least make it exciting? As is the latter case of those Mates who really hate each other. Sadly most vampires are desperate enough to jump on the first potential mate they come along. Usually you will find those that are older Vampires hold out for longer, and if they are lucky enough, to come across a second of their mate connections to have the best opportunity to find the one they will have the better life with. Those who are strong enough hold out sometimes thousands of years (should they live that long) so that they are able to come across all three. Most end up taking the third choice at that point, even if it is a disappointing as the first two. Of course sometimes all three potential mate hate you, or start out that way at least and the only thing you can look forward to is fighting and angry sex. At least you would have that excitement to keep you going.

Now you may be asking, what if out of the three you liked the first the most but it has been at least fifty years since you encountered the first. How can you take the risk to wait out for at least the second potential mate, when the first may actually be the best? After all in that time the first one may have mated to another if you did not snatch them up! Worse someone could have taken them to the final death. Well there is a solution.

When you mate each of the mated ends up with several bites. To be completely mated there are three bites. So if each bite each other no more then once it produces in them a first level bond. The first level bond gives protection, they can not be taken by other Vampire by force, they are able to sense danger to the other, and can feed close without destroying each other. Of course it does have the downside of making it harder to recognize another with a mate connection to you.

There have been cases in the beginning of Vampire kind, when one of the potential mates made the monumental mistake of allowing the other to take more then one bite out of them. The bitten is then always connected to the one that bite them, no matter if the biter goes on to chose the second or third mate. It drove them over the edge enough that they eventually had to be destroyed or walked into the fire themselves. Vampires are possessive of pretty much everything.

The more dominate a vampire the more possessive they tend to be. Mainly because they have a bigger drive to protect those who follow them, any land they have, and those who they Master Mark. Fact of Vampire life, most males are dominate, they have to be to protect their females. Females are usually the more gifted, but they are physically not as strong as males. That is not to say that the dominate Vampire is dominate in every aspect of the relationship. Many actually only get dominate in a dangerous situation. No matter what though, if they are not obeyed in said situation, and they get out of it alive, they will punish the other vampire as incentive to follow directions in a deadly situation.

A good portion of Vampires never come across a mate connection, do not recognize it, or do not want to wait forever until they find the connection. These ones take Companion Mates. Now the smarter vampires simply take a companion until they come across those with the mating connection. It is less messy usually. Companion Mates give complete loyalty to the ones they are connected to. A regular companion does not have the loyalty that bonds you together. They are free to leave anytime. A Companion Mate bond is actually forged through a series of twelve bites. Painful bites at that. When we bite those we have a mating connection with, our venom does not harm them, can infect create intense pleasure. However, take someone who is not mating compatible, male or female, and bite them, its agony. No exaggerating. It is the closest to the burn of transformation you will ever be.

Campanion Mates can never be released. If they find a mate connection the older of the two, or the one more in charge in some cases, can manage to overtake the Companion Mate bond and claim their Mate. The remaining Companion Mate is then Companion Mated to both of the Mates. Sadly, the Companion Mate, while protected and cared for usually ends up isolated as Mates hate sharing each other. If they are lucky they get a Mated couple who enjoy experimenting and inviting others into there sexcapades so long as they are doing so as a team.

That is not to say other the Companion Mate can never be claimed by someone they have a Mate Connection with. There are several ways it could happen. If they are fought for by their potential mate, and they prove they can defeat the other Companion then they will be allowed to Mate them. They are then absorbed into the Companion Mate bond, and both will be connected and under the authority of the Older, or the more Dominate will then have jurisdiction over the Mated pair. There are also several ceremonies that can cut the tie off provided you can find a witch willing to help. The last option is to find a bond sever, such as the one in the Volturi; if both Companions in the bond agree they are separated completely. If one agrees they are separated by all but a small thread.

Some mated couples will find themselves partial to, maybe even in love with, or desire to protect another Vampire, and will forge a Companion Bond between them and the single Vampire. There have been a few cases where two mated pairs took each other in a Companion Bond. In these cases the Vampires actually get along better, no territorial or mate rages. It also increases the safety of each as everyone is willing to die or kill for the other.

That being said there have been cases in which one Vampire found all three mate connections and ended up mated to all three. In each of the cases I have fund it is the female who ends up with multiple mates. I believe that even had they not all Mate Marked her three times together, then she still would have ended up needing to be mated to all three. As was the case with Cynthia Blyton, Rominov descendent,/

Cynthia Blyton met and was claimed by her first potential mate. Once Mated the pull you feel with other potential mates should not be able to be felt. Nor should you feel incomplete any longer as the connection is supposed to be filled. Within the next decade the Mates met her second mate connection. Cynthia reported that the mating pull was so strong that it was painful to her when they tried to leave, though neither gentleman felt such a thing. Her first Mate felt nothing but the intuitive pain from his Mate, while the second gentleman felt nothing more then the normal pull. In desperation to take care of his hurting Mate, Ashton, the first of the gentleman, attempted to attack the second believing he was causing the distress through a gift.

However when Ashton did attack he was not able to harm the other man without his Mate crying out in agony upon any harmful contact to him. Left with no other recourse the second man informed Ashton that his instinct to bite her and Claim her was increasing the longer they were around her. With nothing other to try, and having been there a few months, he gave in and allowed the second to claim his Mate.

Five decades passed and it happened similarly with the third man. No time was wasted on trying other solutions this time, and the third man claimed his Mate. When asked how they are able to share without getting territorial and jealous no man was able to give a clear reason behind being calm. After extensive research on this subject, no concrete hypothesis have presented themselves. My personal belief is that all three men were needed to keep her safe due to her unique gift, and lesser physical strength, that she reached out through unknown means and connected. It should also be known that the third man was her True Mate and thus not yet a Vampire.

A few other theories include that her position in Vampire society being of pivotal importance to not just herself but our society as a whole it is critical that she had not just one connection but three. Another suggests that her venom and DNA caused it. The last is suggested that is was a facsimile of her gift that caused the issue. No matter what it was very fortunate of all of us that she had three mates, or we may have lost her before she could create our first seat of power, connect to the beginning societies, and creating a cover for Vampires to eat via human sacrifices. We would not be what we were today had she not been alive long enough to stop our extinction.

That brings up the most sacred of all Mate connections. And the most rare! The True Mate! While Mates connect and protect each other but do not necessarily accept each other for who they are, nor come to love one another a True Mate is a guarantee. It is no more a soul connection then any mating is. After all who want someone who is completely like you as a Soul Mate would be? Certainly not me!

True Mates my not like everything you do, or the way you act, but they will not leave you or make you suffer for them. Instead they will try to balance you out, just as you balance them. Where as Mates do not have an urge to compromise, with True Mate the want to compromise so as to make yourselves a stronger team is almost instinct. If you change it will not be out of an order from your True Mate. In fact a True Mate could be absolutely terrified of you, but would still accept you and come to love you. One could dislike the others tendency to flirt with others, but would accept it and love them despite it. However, if it really bothered a Mate, they would slowly work to stop the actions the bring fear into the mate. The other would try to tone down the flirting.

Like anything True Mates have to work to keep their relationships up. Once in love with each other they will never fall out of love, even when the human mate is turned. However that does not mean there will not be disagreements, arguments, and pulling away. Fear not though, because nothing will make them ever stop wanting to fix things with the other. Neither will ever be able to be far apart. They could not leave their True Mate behind. Both will be very protective to the point that they may attempt to kill someone for a perceived insult.

True Mates will always provide a source of comfort. For another thing they always seem to balance each other out in some way or another. If one is hot headed, the other one may provide a voice of reason. If both are hotheaded, then one of them will get mad about other things. They can break each other out of moods. They are in tune to a point where they always know where the other is, if they are hurt or in danger, and to a larger degree then Mates can. Some have been known to absorb some of the others characteristics. There have been instances of being able to communicate with a mere look. The rage a True Mate can insite by being in potential danger, or being hurt in any way is breathtaking. It goes beyond the Vampire mindset overlaying the general mindset, it completely takes over causing what is known as 'the demon' overcoming the instinctive vampire mindset and the non-instinctive Vampire mindset (also called the general mindset), and can cause the Vampire to turn ferrel until the mate is secured. Once Ferrel has passed it will be a slow revert from instinctive vampire mindset to general mindset. However, it takes very little after an event like this to push a True Mate back into the Demon mindset. It takes quite the time for a True Mate to come out this hair trigger stage. I have heard the best thing to do if you are around them when they go into this stage, is stay submissive no matter what happens. If you are lucky the True Mate that is in rampage mode will isolate, nest, and claim. Stay submissive until you are sure they are not coming back.

The most interesting thing about True Mates, is that one of them always starts out as human. It really does not matter who changes them, nothing will ever bind them to any other unless it is by complete free choice. It does not mean you cannot court the couple to your side. It just means they hold each other even above authority, which makes them potentially dangerous to anyone, even those in their coven. It is not necessary for True Mates to use claiming bites of any kind, they may still have the urge to do so however, to warn others away. Unlike Mated and Companion Mates they will never have an urge to be with anyone else. Please note when Cynthia Blyton came across her True Mate and he was changed he became Mated with the other two gentleman involved, and while they were able to still affably share Cynthia he had to be touching her at all times while she was intiment with the other two Mates. We still have been unable to explain this.

It should also be noted that seeing each other is merely their first stage. It is the touch which seals them together even beyond the final death. It is also believed that they will find each other if they ever reincarnate.


	2. A Vampire Reflects

DISCLAIMER: I do not own or make money of Twilight books or movies. It remains sole property of its author.

A.N. I still do not have a beta. All mistakes are mine. If interested please email kivianakosher.

When I first met Alice in a diner, I had just gotten out of a Vampire Hell. Hundreds of years of nonstop anger, hate, fear, desperation swirling around me and seeping into my person was addictive, terrifying, and torture to feel…and that was not even what we Vampires felt. Our prey however…was much worse.

I had just been liberated from the southern wars when my escapee Captain Peter, and his just a few years out of the newborn stage mate Charlotte returned to inform me that escaping from the south was not futile. Peter told me how there was no war everywhere as my sire, Mistress Maria, had told us. Apparently, you did not have to fight for feeding rights. No one punished you, pulled you apart, or starved you for missteps. There were no Armies outside the South. No trading one General for another.

charade Peter and Charlotte had met many Nomads and while they were weary of them due to the scars, they were only attacked a few times. They had freedom. They even interacted with the humans. They told me there was only two rules. Two, rather then the hundreds Maria forced upon us. It sounded wonderful.

I was skeptical about it at first. I was't just bitten two years ago after all. It had to be untrue. A trick. Did Maria manage to track them down and then make them perpetrate this charade as a test of loyalty. Worse, were they luring me away to get me into another army? If that were the case better the bitch you know then the one you do not!

However, Peter was a very loyal creature. Once he gave you his Loyalty almost nothing will get it taken away. So the one and only thing that would make him, or them rather, act out such a charade was if one of them were being threatened with the death of each other. Mates were sacred. Beloved. More so mates had a connection with one another so deep that not many survived having their mated killed. Those few who did walked alone forever. There were exceptions of course, a few were lucky enough to come across another potential mate and were able to initiate the Mating bond through claiming and being claimed.

If they were being threatened I would find out and take care of the threat. After all I had given Peter my word that I would get them out of there before Charlotte was destroyed. Just because I managed to get them out once did not mean that I was finished. After all, despite how horrible and bloodthirsty I was once my word was given, it was always followed through. I did not break my word.

I broke necks, destroyed vampires, families, humans, towns. I broke newborns through emotions. I destroyed so much, and wouldn't stop. But the one thing I never broke was my word. Not when I was human and not after the transformation to Vampire.

In the end it turned into a fight when Peter refused to leave again without me. I managed to tear him apart, while deflecting his angry and vengeful mate with so much emotion her body collapsed to the ground. When I was done I thrust his pieces into her arms and told her to take him a run. I then kept her down until I was out of range. She ran. .

Two weeks later he came back. That time I ended up leaving with them. After all they wouldn't risk it twice were that not true. Apparently Peter just knew I would tear him apart for his own safety the first time, but knew I would eventually give in. Even if he had to come every few weeks for a year. There is something to say for his determination for saving me.

There was only so much I could take when it came to emotions. The lust sent me out practically every night to find a willing body and most often I ended up giving into the need to feed. The emotions bothered me sometimes, others I found only satisfaction. That is not to say that I killed every human i ended up fucking. Some of them went away so satisfied I doubted they would ever be able to be so fulfilled with any other man.

I did notice a pattern. When I fed off of the innocent ones, even if I took them unexpectedly as they orgasmed, I tended to feel guilt. Those that I fed from who were predators among there own kind…well lets just say I felt almost god like. Satisfied, content, and at peace. After all who wouldn't feel peace when they took out their aggression and got a good meal for it?

Not only was Peter and Charlottes lust too much for me it stirred up feelings of such envy at their closeness. That was not to say they did not let me in to join the fun. After all they both enjoyed variety, as long as they were together while they enjoyed that variety. It is not that I wasn't happy for them. I was, if anyone deserved happiness it was my first and pretty much only friends. I ofter soaked up the love and joy that passed between them like a sponge. It was wonderful. My envy of what they had together, however, was something that brought on such bouts of self recreation that I could not stand myself at times. Who could be happy for their friends, owe them pretty much everything, and still feel jealousy? Me apparently. I hated those moments. I hated wanting what they have, but knowing I did not deserve to find any one of the mating connections I potentially had out there.

It did not help any that I could not seem to limit myself to human predators. I got to the point where I would go so far between feedings as I relived my years of destruction. I did not regret leaving, and I enjoyed the peace, but I was a man of action who did not know what he was good at with the exception of commanding others and war. I missed being in charge and taking care of others. Even being the leader of our coven wasn't really enough. There were only so many things I could order them to do before everything was taken care of. Perimeter checks, practice fighting, security measures, putting out and contacting feelers and spy within other covens so we were not caught unaware. So what could I really do but relive my glory days? I did not have a Mate to experience things with. I was not sure if I could find any other hobbies then reading war strategies. Not only that but I was constantly on guard. I was still unused to being out of a war zone so I felt lost. Depressed.

It was the last feeling that had me leaving Peter and Charlotte and trying to make a go alone. My abilities as an empath were causing them problems. I spent the last 100 years actively projecting emotions. Now that I no longer needed to do so, I was finding it hard to stop. More times then not my depression would swirl around the air bring Peter and Charlotte down with it. When they reached for each other to get through it, a burning isolation and longing would burn through me. So when I could no longer stand bringing them down and the envy toward their relationship I left.

So when I was approached after ducking inside a random diner one rainy day, I was weary. In my experience the only reason another vampire approached another was if they wanted to fuck or fight. She wasn't giving out either of those emotions which had me befuddled so when she told me I was late, I automatically apologized. After all who am I to keep a lady waiting? Within minutes she had all but dragged me to a booth in the corner, then scooted in across from me. Her eyes were an orange-red mixture which had me wondering if it was a manifestation of a gift she may have. I had decided to ask and she zoned out. Seconds later she laughingly told me the reason behind her eyes was because she was changing to animal blood. She claimed she could see the future once decisions were made.

After that she proceeded to regale me with how she woke up to this life and saw me. She got vision after vision of what I was doing, what I would be doing, and where she would find me. She told me that we were going to Mates. Apparently we had the potential mate bond buzzing around, and if I would relax a bit I would feel it. It took me about 15 more minutes to relax enough to block out her exuberance enough to relax and feel the pull for myself. During that time she continued telling me about our wonderful future. Apparently we were going to join up with a whole family of Vampires. Each and everyone of them would love us and accept us. We would be able to do incredible things. Most importantly though, she said we would fall in love and have the very bond I so longed for just like my red eyed friends.

If she knew my friends then why didn't she just say there names? Apparently she had a bit of trouble hearing anything they said. Oh she could see them clearly. However, she hardly ever heard anything they ever said. Apparently after they meet she will be able to hear anything they say in connection to her name. That really seemed to upset her. So like the sex deprived asshole I had been for the last several years I reached out and took her hand, stroking her hand and wrist where I could. It wasn't long before lust joined the rest of her emotions. When she told me that we would be leaving now, I just smirked and escorted her out.

It may sound somewhat incredible that I would settle for the first mate connection I came across. Its just why look further when she had told me we would be happy and in love with each other. Besides I was tired and she was offering everything I have ever wanted. So I decided that I would take her as my Mate. She giggled and told me my deed was as good as my word, and she was so very glad to have it. I never really thought anything of the phrasing. After all she was right and she was the future so I was in to go either way.

Only after a few days when my hunger began to set it, and I made plans to go did we run into our first problem. She looked at me like I was crazy. She said that something must have gone wrong because in our future we both had yellow eyes of those who ate animals. She just didn't know if our future would end up the same if we veered of path.

Who was I to go against her? I was depressed. I did want the happy future. So if I had to switch to animal blood to get it, well I had certainly done worse things. With a beaming smile and a bunch of dancing around she informed me that we were going to be just fine now. She said that once we were both settled onto animal diets we would celebrate with our first claiming marks. Of course, she informed me, that it had to be somewhere other then her neck or she would never be able to wear some of the accessories that were so important to her.

I guess I should have started questioning things when I gave over to my instincts for the first time while she was around. When I summoned up the Major for my first animal hunt, because apparently "its easy" and I would "know what to do as soon as my instincts kicked in," were free, I admit I allowed him to completely overcome me rather then merge with me. I just did not want to have to taste the flavor of the blood which Alice had admitted was bitter. I am not a coward, but I figured it wouldn't hurt and I could rest my conscious mind for a bit. She wouldn't be harmed, we had the mating connection, and I could get through this embarrassing animal eating situation all in one neat disconnection of my general mindset.

Only, I was mostly right. I did not hurt her. And the instinctive running cut off my thought processes and was able to enjoy the blood more then I probably would have if even part of my higher thoughts were there. During the hunt though, I ended up reinstating my higher brain function until I pounced on the moose. It would have been a shame to miss it entirely like I had planned. After all animals listened to their flight and flight instincts, and humans seem to hesitate and freeze up. No the problem was that once I turned to complete instinct I had basically cut off communication between Jasper and Major. Completely separated as if we were not two sides of the damn coin.

It probably sounds weird to any who have never experienced being a vampire. There is constant communication going on between both mindsets, however most of that is buried in the back of the mind. I think differently when I have not let my instincts take over. Usually for a vampire we merge our instincts together with our general mindset. However, there are many situations that your instincts will take over to the point that you no longer have a conscious awareness of anything. You are just running, doing whatever your directed to do. When that happens people get slaughtered, things are destroyed and instinctive connections are made.

For example you hit a dog who goes after a squirrel he records that interaction and next time he goes for the squirrel scent he hesitates because the connection made. Granted it would take a dog a few hundred times to train that reaction. Vampire minds however absorb things instantly. Once is usually all it takes to learn something, twice at the most. Unless its your demon thats out.

When your demon comes out, no one is safe. The only ones that have a chance to come out alive is a Mate. The demons only emerge when so angry you can no longer hold your mind and instinctive mind together and they collapse allowing the subconscious mind to take over. For me that tended to happen a lot when I was in the Souther Wars. I had found a way to flip a switch and there he was. It made things easier at times. If I had to kill children I would flip the switch. The only time something is not registering for a vampire is when they are their demons. When I was the God of War, no one would escape my wrath if they were not prone, next exposed, and vulnerable in veneration of me. Even then I sometimes ended up destroying even them.

The reason this is even coming up is because in order to access that switch I had to accomplish merging my instinctive desires and recordings, the Major, and my general mindset, Jasper into one. I learned to be able to slot them together into one seamless puzzle. In doing so I also learned that I could push each piece to the side and give one the greater control. It was this ability that kept me alive until my power was under enough control that I was able to utilize it. It is not an easy thing to learn. Some vampires make it into their 500 before they learn to push them together.

That being said, even if I was not paying attention in the forebrain like I should have been, then I should have paid attention to what the Major wanted to say when I allowed my general mindset to take over. Instead I didn't merge to ask what the Major knew and absorbed, instead I pushed him to the side after he sucked down the moose and felt full. It really was my mistake. Knowing what I do now, it is a miracle the God of War was not released.

So not paying attention as I should have been. Lost in my happy haze of finding my Mate, as soon as we claimed each other that is, and knowing I was going to get a family out of it. I was impatient to get started with my forever.

It is rare that you find a potential mate that one side of you can not stand. The Major in me is not stupid by far. In fact I probably simplified him in my effort to explain it. He has cognizant thoughts just like I do. Fully formed ideas. Opinions that clash with mine on occasion. And an outlook that is simply more bloodthirsty and destructive, and even with the more animal mentality, where he to surge forward over my general mindset, he could talk to you with full words and everything. It is not exactly another identity, that would be too separatist when we are both one. I will not tell you what happened because I still have not asked. What I do know though is that the Major started to fight against being pushed out above my general mindset. Worse, he started fighting me when I tried to merge us together as I always had before. Even more importantly he only would do this when Alice was around. Didn't matter if we had hundreds of others around. If she was there Major didn't want to be. If I had been paying attention and not dismissing it as an after effect of no longer being in the wars. Even if I had asked others if they usually stayed merged with both mindsets I would have connected things a lot sooner. Before I answered my phone ten minutes ago.

Look, Alice is not a bad person. She makes mistakes like everyone. Has her wonderful points, and things that make others what to bury her in the core of the earth for some quiet. Vampires especially are selfish creatures. Even in our general mindset we are bloodthirsty, we enjoy carnage, we are largely sexual and tactical, and we put ourselves before everybody else, with the exception of our Mates. I perhaps should clarify that. To be Mates you have to claim and be claimed with a series of three bites. Sadly, Alice and I never got around to it.

Don't get me wrong, I wanted very much to claim Alice. I thought we were going to do it right away. Then again after I had managed to make it a year without slipping up. Alice had flatly declared that until I was completely on the diet without reverting, well it was time we would be able to claim each other. I was a sucker. I mean I took it as the law, as the only way it would happen. I managed to make it a year without slipping though, and on the one year mile mark we found the Cullens.

I understood wanting to wait to get settled, but by this time I was getting frustrated. My resentment was building. I started to figure the reason it wasn't done was because I wasn't good enough. I mean Alice was always telling me that my accent was horrible and it was embarrassing. Made me sound uneducated. The way I dressed was worse then a homeless person, after all at least they have a fashion sense. I was weak willed, and had no control. Without her I would slaughter hundreds of people. I was lucky she was around to keep me alive and away from the Volturi. If she wasn't around I would go back to the wars, so I was fortunate she was here to give me peace and worth.

I ignored it at first. After all I am one of the most feared Vampires on earth. The Volturi and I had mutual respect. We kept clear of each other and no harm would come to either them or the Whitlock coven. Females seemed to enjoy my accent, and even if I wasn't looking I could still feel the reactions, the longing and lust, when I walked around in what I was comfortable in. I was secure in myself. I am not sure quite how it came about but I went out with Emmet and Rose after Alice told me I couldn't handle it and I would kill three people. I scoffed. I am not weak. I changed thousands. I hadn't had human blood in eight years. I was over it. Only she was right. I slaughtered them. When I was through they were not recognizable. I figured it was an accident, I couldn't be that out of control after all these years of not having an issue with it. Animal blood was even become somewhat palatable to me.

Only she predicted and next time I went out with Emmet and Edward it happened again. And again with Emmet, Esme, and Carlisle. It happened four more times. And each time I would come home to my Alice to find her hands on her hips and an I told you so glinting from her eyes. So I started to listen. More I started to believe. We had been together for almost twenty years at that point.

Now, if I had been able to lay the first bite on her I may not have ended up changing everything I was. If she wouldn't let me claim her yet, it must be for a reason. After all she saw us happy and in love. We had a connection to make others weep in desperate longing. So I started slowly doing things. Wearing the new shirt she bought me, despite hating it. Stopped drawling out my vowels. Cut out southern truisms. And each change brought us closer. She was happier. She stopped criticizing me so much. She told me that it was back on track. That she didn't want to make me change, but each time something went on like that our happy future faded or changed. We were less happy. We lost the family. We had to fight for our lives. Hundreds of different futures for each mess I made. Or each outfit that diminished my value.

As the years passed things got better. Alice was happier. She felt love all the time. I thrived off those emotions. She would bring me cloths, said she enjoyed getting me things. Enrolled me in classes, theater so I could learn different accents and learn to completely drop mine even in the most unguarded of times. Fashion design to teach me the value of the appropriate cloths, what they said about who I am. The more I pushed down who I really was, the happier she got. Did I lose myself? Not completely. In my mind, despite Edward being around to read it, I would express how I really felt about things. How I hated the cloths. Hated the North. Disliked shopping. Loved discovering video games and enjoyed wasting hours playing it with Emmet. Every time I would mock spar with Emmet or Edward she would get upset. So I slowly stopped doing even that. I think that is one of the things I missed the most.

Sure on special occasions Alice would encourage me to go play with Em or Edward. Sometimes I would even get to go see Peter and Charlotte without a fight and the huge guilt trip I was given for going without her. And this despite the fact that she really did not want to see them anyway. Charlotte and Alice got along just fine when we were altogether. Peter was civil. If you didn't feel there emotions you would have thought they loved when Alice came. It caused things to be even more tense for me. I couldn't relax and be myself with her there nor could Peter or Charlotte. It made visits miserable. So I was relieved she stopped wanting to see them. She would rather go shopping in a foreign country. Only she wanted me with her. If I went I would never see Peter and Charlotte. Going without her to see them though made her furious. Eventually Alice was sure that Peter and Charlotte were plotting to break us up, because they were interfering in our relationship. So I started staying away for less time. Going less. I did end up picking calling them more often then ever in exchange.

True family will put up with things like that. Time and distance never matter. So while they were upset, they understood. Of course they started disliking her more. Especially since I lost my accent. Changed my cloths. Gave up war strategy books.

I thought I would finally be allowed to be happy with my Mate. We would finally claim each other. I gave up everything. I make her happy. She always felt love now. She pretty much danced around in a flurry of joyous emotions. Surely it was time. After all she had finally given in when we had been together 34 years, and we placed the first claiming bites. Now she was happier then ever. She felt more love then ever. Surely it was time. She had to know that if we waited this long for the last of the bites then our bond would be overwhelming. You don't bet against Alice.

We have been together 50 years now. Another new state. Another new school. I hate my cloths. I hate how I have become an autumn. I hate going to school. I miss myself. It doesn't matter. Shouldn't matter anyway. How else would I get a Mate. I doubted I could find another. I didn't deserve it in the first place. Not after all my years of pointless destructions under my Mistress Maria.

I wouldn't say that I have given up. I am still hoping to finish our claiming of each other. To be Mates. It's just, I don't really want to anymore. To be honest after the first bite, I regretted it. I was just lucky we were visiting Isle Esme on a vacation to reconnect. After all she and I had been taking months away from each other. Her on fashion business. I would be taking care of our finances and would travel to find companies to invest in to help our portfolio. It was something I had come to enjoy and one of the few things that didn't require me to wear my Anything-to-get-my-mate mask. It was one of the few times I could be me without worrying about upsetting Alice and messing up our oh so happy future.

Maybe I had given up. I know I should have left her after the first mark took so long. I think the only reason she allowed it was because she overheard Peter suggest I left and took a companion instead. After all thats basically all Alice was to me at that point, he claimed.

Not everything was bad. The sex was great. The secrets I shared were never given away, not even slipped to Edward through her mind. She helped me learn to block Edward without singing songs. She taught me many useful things. New strategies. Showed me another way of thinking. I learned to see the good things in life. Found an optimistic rather them fatalistic viewpoint. Not only that, but she does give good advice. I see her as one of my best friends.

We can be apart longer now, and are very often, yet when she returns home, it seems the love inside her has grown. Her underlying emotions allow me to relax. I am secure that she will not rip my head off when I am not paying attention.

Forks, Washington is dreary and overcast year around. Perfect for our family. It is one of the main reasons we moved here. Alice was ecstatic at first. I was hard pressed to keep the joy from projecting. She claimed she would make a friend who would let her dress her up and take her shopping. She even said that Edward might even find his mate. Apparently we were all in a family meeting and she heard Emmet sing singing "Someone found a True Mate." tI thought she would explode into little Alice pieces and splatter everyone with joyful venom confetti.

Then it changed. Apparently the new girl coming to Forks makes things hard for our family. Her desperation started to build. She spent hours in her visions, changing her decisions and looking to see what the changed outcome would be. I tried getting her to talk to me. After all I had learned along the way that Alice needed me t to her rant in order for her to be happy. If she wanted me to offer advice she would let me know, and it was insensitive of me to just offer it. She wasn't stupid, thank you very much.

However, Alice refused to vent it out. She told me that she wanted to leave. Demanded a family meeting and told everyone we needed to leave. Rose, my 'twin' sister was livid. Flat out refused. Emmet followed his Mates lead. Of course Carlisle couldn't just quit working at the hospital just when he was hired. And Esme, well Forks was one of her favorite places to live. So it was determined we are staying.

Alice was so upset it took me an hour to calm her down enough that we could understand her well thought our reasoning. No one gave in. Another half an hour and Esme demanded she go hunt. Edward wrapped his arm around her and led her out to hunt. The house cleared out of negative feelings as they raced further away. Finally my body relaxes, taking in the tender emotions of Esme as she goes to work on her later project in Carlisle study. Emmet and Rose headed to the garage to fix something he had broke on the Jeep. Leaving me to my own thoughts once more.

I am man enough to admit that I have long since tired of not being myself, of not being able to claim my mate fully. I hate that I can no longer access my Major side when Alice is around. I hate that I have no real say in our relationship or I lose the potential future were we are happy and in love. I miss my Vampire side. I feel like a domesticated poodle. She says sit. I do. When I first met Alice I was possessive of her as any vampire would be. After my first hunt that diminished, my instincts I though had just figured out she would never leave me. After my first bite my possessive and dominate side returned briefly. A week later it just leveled out. It never made sense with my upbringing I should be more possessive. I am a natural Alpha vampire, and I have been reduced to bottom of the nest. I can never figure it out either. What would make me give up everything. I cannot be that weak. I would never have survived. So why did it take so little for her to change me. What has she done that would make the Major cower away from her. I wish I could say it was another power she has. Unfortunately the only answer seems to be she was right about me.

Like always when Alice was away I could feel the Major coming back to join my general state. I always have felt better when he is beside me rather then suppressed. I imagine all Vampires are. Why would I put up with this, especially when there is no follow through? It really doesn't matter either way. As Alice was quick to point out two weeks after our first claim bites, when I went with her I gave her my word.

To be honest my biggest emotion since the timely reminder of me having given her my word, has been fear. When the regret cleared and confusion disappeared. After I had examined my disappointment and analyzed everything else it took center stage. I couldn't leave her, my word bound me more then the mark I had given her two weeks before. That scared me more than anything. I was hopeless. Alice was my only hope. To be able to Mate with her and find the bond and happiness I had to stay like this. Stay doing what made Alice happy. Stay being who she wanted me to be. If I left I lost everything. No constant

company. No one to warn me if I was going to do something to attract attention from the wrong people. No one to warn me if my Sire started searching for me so as to return me to the Southern Hell as her second.

My thigh started vibrating, I could hear the motion disturbing the air around it. I reached into my pocket and checked the caller I.D.


	3. The Phone Call

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. I am making no money from this work of literature. Nor am I associated with the publishing company or producers of the movies.

A.N. I still need a beta. If interested kivianakosher had a google account you can reach me at. Just take the sn name and add the gmail and the doctor and your can write me there.

_My thigh started vibrating, I could hear the motion disturbing the air around it. I reached into my pocket and checked the caller I.D._

"What do you want Capitan?" I wasn't that I wanted to be snappy to him. He was my brother and best friend. I was just tired. I had such high expectations for having a mate and yet we are still not Mated or happy. I had seen Peter and Charlotte, felt there bond and emotions, and always thought my mate connection and I would end up with a bond as great as theirs. They were each-others best friend, more then just lovers. If they ever wanted they could live on there own, never seeing another person for the rest of their existence and still be happy. I wanted that. I felt disillusioned.

"There is something I need to tell you. It's really important. She is going to let you bite her finally. However, you-" I wasn't really listening at this point. Of course my mind was still absorbing, as Vampire minds always do, but I had zeroed in on those words. I could finally claim my mate! If I had a heart I was sure it would be racing. This was-my excitement stopped. Why now? I could feel the Major readying itself to flee. This is what I had wanted for the last 50 years. Or, more honestly, thought I wanted. It is what I thought would lead to being complete. The Major seemed to be seething inside me. Writhing to get out to take over my body and get us so far away Alice could never catch us.

My body was filled with dread. I remembered how I felt after the first bite, the brief moment of joy and relief followed by stark disappointment. I had thought I would be going around feeling happier, more complete. I thought I would never want for anything again. Then not even two weeks later how horrible I had felt when she reminded me I had as good as given my word to her when we left that diner together.

I no longer wanted it though. I didn't want her for as my Mate any longer. It was 48 years too late, and much too little. I wasn't even myself anymore! If I Mated with Alice completely now I would be stuck in the mask I created to entice her to allow us to seal the Mating. I had been waiting so long and now I felt disillusioned. It was upsetting. I had a feeling that even if we did mark each other, the bright, happy, and loving future she claimed we would achieve was never going to be achieved.

What choice did I have, now, though? I had given my word and even the Major would fight to keep it until the final death. We would live or let die by it. It was pretty much the only rule we had before escaping. It was still one of our main guidelines to live by. Our word was everything. That and all those years I spent actively doing everything to become someone else would be time wasted. If there was anything that bothered me, it would be wasted effort. Military mentality aside, as a boy I grew up on a ranch where every effort was worth something or you would be out of energy by the time the sun went down.

I am man enough to admit that I have long since tired of not being myself, of not being able to claim my mate. Not having an absolute ally and confidant. I hated that my decisions were only an opinion to her and the family. I hated that I had no authority over her and was thus disregarded most of the time. I hated that I had no right to be possessive. I was naturally an overly possessive man of what I considered mine to protect. I was also a very dominate vampire. At least I was before I allowed myself to give up my happiness for hers. I am also man enough to admit that I have been beyond pissed about those things for the last 48 years.

Worse then everything else though was that I actively tortured myself to go the school. Anything to make Alice happy. The future she claimed was ours was worth it. So I went among the humans in general. Worse, I went around hormonal humans via high school. The feelings of lust hit me the moment I was around the hormonal high schoolers. The bodies of other women that beckoned me to take them to my bed. If Alice had allowed us to progress to the first degree of mating it would have helped detract from the women that surround me. Without the Mating mark however, not only did I have to actively stop myself from looking, and remind myself that just because we had yet to take the first mark did not mean that I was free to take them to bed. If Alice had accepted the first Mark I could have used our bond to bolster me when I felt overwhelming emotions in among the humans. Instead it was all done with my force of will. It was not impossible, after I managed, it was just unnecessary.

"-er! Jasper! Damn it Major!" Peter growled through the phone. My responding growl was instinctive and resonated around the room and down the line. He should know better then to disrespect me, but to toward the Major…I wasn't sure I would have been able to stop at merely ripping off his hand. The Major and I simply could not allow it, at least when our mindsets connected. I was Alpha of our coven no matter how far away from each other we were. Anyone else I would have relieved of both arms and legs, no matter how close to me they were. Our survival was dependent on my reputation and I wanted to retain my hard won reputation.

I could hear the fabric of Peters clothes rub together as a shudder worked though his body. I couldn't stop the smirk that formed on my lips. Not that I really cared to. It felt good to be able to be real with someone. After all if anyone knew what I was capable of and had seen me at my worse, it was Peter.

"My apologies, but this is important and I need you to do more then half heartedly take this in if you are going to survive."

"This is tied to my survival?" I scoffed.

"Well, your Mates survival yeah." I paused to consider…did I really care to ensure her survival. I could finally be rid of Alice and go find my own way. I could claim a companion until I came along another mate bond, if I were so lucky, and finally be happy. Like I said Alice was not so horrible, and she had some great qualities, but I didn't want to be tied to her anymore, especially since she suddenly wanted it with an extreme desperation. This would solve all my problems, and it did not take away from my word.

"Don't tell me then Peter." I commanded. My emotions settling into a quiet anticipation of getting out of this whole situation. I would know what to watch out for in the future and wouldn't make the same mistakes. I would never again flat out change to be with a Mate. I would get to be myself, and be with someone who liked me or hated me for who that was.

I can handle a Companion Mate, we would not have the deep connection to as Mates or True Mate bonds. However, there are some benefits of Companion Mates. Sure they were in danger more often because my instinctive side would never recognize them, and there was always the chance that a True Mate, or regular Mate could come along and override the bond. Then the Companion Mate would be stuck with the both of us, no matter what they wanted. For me though, this seemed the best solution.

Then again maybe I should keep her alive. She did give me a new way of life and a family. I allowed myself to be molded. It is partially my fault. However if she lived, I was stuck.

Mates are not exactly prevalent. Yes, supposedly everyone has them. Most just give up on finding them, get tired of waiting, or just do not care in there desperation to find something to live for. The strongest in will are those that are mated most of the time because they have the strength to wait it out until they come across one of the bonds. I was lucky to come across Alice and that she and I had a Mate Bond potential connection. I guess that means that maybe I should keep her alive. Sure I would have to stay the way she 'molded' me. But the connection might be worth it. Mating is complicated.

"-is not Alice. I am not talking another 'maybe i will eventually fall in love,' I am talking about 'hit you upside the head, unbelievable love' Mate. True Mate Major. You don't want her to die, do you? Her fate depends on you."

A swift gust of breath left me. True Mate. That meant Peter was right. She and I would be guaranteed to fall in love. We would still have to work for a good relationship, but we would always want to fight to stay together. Fight to compromise. Shit! That meant that she would be human. Peter had just mentioned her survival may be in question. Shit!

I could feel the blackness overtaking the whites of my eyes. Venom began to build up in my mouth. My chest was rumbling with a low continuous growl. No one would harm her. No one could mess with what was mine without repercussions. It would be even worse for anyone who messed with _my _woman. Especially not when she was so fragile even a small fall could be enough to kill her! For the first time in my life I wished humans walked around in safety suits of some kind.

How was I supposed to protect her? What if it was too late by the time I found her. The venom started rolling down my chin. My growl had grown louder rattling the furniture around us. If I was smart the moment I found her I would pounce on her and change her instantly. I would have to give into my instincts to do it though or I had no doubt I would inadvertently kill her. You would think that the general mindset would guarantee her safety when I tried to change her, but in reality its the instinctive vampire mind that will ensure she lives to die during the change. The general vampire mind would be so focused on the taste of the blood that it would be too dazed to stop before it there True Mate.

There is a reason we give into our instincts to hunt, and it is for the same reason we allow our instinctive vampire mind to change our True Mate. Our instincts as a vampire can find our food, make it easy to consume it, it protects our prey from others when hunting, help us fight, and most importantly, they guard our greatest treasures as fiercely as a Dragon would. Our instincts recognize it when we come across our human True Mate, where our general mindset may not register anything other then the aroma of blood. It is another thing leading Vampire researchers have not found a concrete reason for. Personally I think our inner Vampire has a better grasp on what is important to our survival. If not then why is it that the only quick and sure fire way that a True Mate is recognized is by said Vampire instinct.

"True Mate? Peter you better not be playing another tasteless joke." I could feel my Major side starting to disconnect with my regular mindset and attempt to overtake it completely. I grit my teeth in an effort to control it and bring it back into connection. It wanted to go on a rampage at even the thought of its True Mate not existing. It didn't even want Peter to think about his True Mate, let alone joke about her. With the Major actually caring about things again, his normal possessive and dominate behavior has increased as it added to my general possessive and dominate control over important things.

"I am not that stupid, Major," I could hear him scoff. Charlotte could be heard coming through the room. I heard her lips press against his before she sat next to him. Her clothes brushed against his as she curled up into him. I swear I could feel the love radiating through the long distance connection. I have to hand it to him, for all his ridiculous and off color jokes, even he would think twice before making a joke about the one thing most vampires yearn for. Not only that, but Charlotte has started pre-screening his pranks and jokes for the last 15 years. It kept Peter together allowing Charlotte to get the pleasure his body could bring her, and kept everyone happy. Got to give it to Peter though, every once in a while he does manage to slip one by Charlotte and embarrass himself and his lovely Mate. I am not sure how she manages to put up with his brand of fuckery.

I have long thought Peters true gift was managing to escape situations without being completely destroyed. He just claims that his gift is whatever the darkness whispers to him.

"Tell us then." I ordered. The fact that I have a True Mate and will find her is finally starting to sink in. We crowed in triumph and pleasure. I felt like going for a run and hunting her down. I wanted to see her. Find out what she enjoys. What kind of person she is. If I am truly lucky she will have beautiful curves. I am not sure if when I found her I could stop myself from snatching her up and ravaging her, showing everyone that she is MINE! I want her panting out my name. Making it into a chant. Screaming out the pleasure I have bestowed upon her. I should get a place ready. Some place isolate so that I can take us there where I can protect her, get her prepared to change. I will need to make sure it is big enough that she will not feel constrained once she is a Vampire. The bigger the place the more places I can claim her. If I was any less concerned about her safety I would have had to take myself in hand and imagine her voice. It would be impossible to imagine what she looks like. It would never measure up to her beauty, I was sure. Better to not even try rather then sully her with underestimations.

The reminder of her potential safety came through Peters weary voice.

"I think you are going to have to make a last minute decisions from now on. You know that there is supposed to be that new girl starting school there."

"Alice would not stop talking about it and what wonderful friends they would be, until a few days ago. Now suddenly she is claiming we need to leave or she will destroy us."

"Yeah, she will destroy someone alright." He growled. I can just imagine the sneer on his face. I could hear Charlotte giggle and then hit him. "Whatever you do, do not stop picturing you and Alice completing the Mating. If you even think about not completing it Alice will see a future where she has no choice but to take action to prevent. Right now, she is getting two different sets of visions."

"Because ever since she told me she wanted me to finish the claim this morning, I have been reflecting."

"No matter what incentive she comes up with or what she says, you cannot really bite Alice. If you do, not only will your True Mate end up dead thanks to Eh-well thanks to being drawn into a world she should not be in without you, but you will be one of those who are not happy with your Mate. Once a Mating is sealed you know that there will be nothing you can do. I mean we can try to kill her, but you could easily take Char and myself out, and would because of your instincts."

"How will she end up dead?" I growled. I would kill everyone in the world but her to keep that from happening. No one would harm her. I could feel the protective rage filling me. The Major nodding along and encouraging me.

"She won't-as long as you don't give in and bite Alice. I mean it Jasper. I didn't think you would after I told you about your True Mate showing up. but I never thought you would change yourself so completely either." See now that just pissed me off. I was about ready to go for a run down to visit him and show him just how unchanged I am. We have fought over this subject for years now. He couldn't believe the things I let Alice to do. He called it desperation and grasping at anything. Said I should be happy how I am. We had actually got into a few physical fights on the subject. Apparently I am and always have been deserving of better and even Maria never treated me as less then the vampire I was. To a point he was right, but when I first got with Alice I did not at all take his opinion well. No matter how often we talk he has to stick at least one snide comment about how I was not the Jasper he had been roaming around with after the war. How he couldn't believe the Major would allow us to fall so far.

"You have a strength of will that is unseen. Or had. I cannot believe you would fall so low as to be a toy on the remote chance that she was telling you the truth about your happy futures!" Usually Charlotte stayed out of it, apparently with news about my True Mate, she found it appropriate to tell me what she really thinks. It still earned her a warning growl. If they had been where I was, I bet they would not have done anything different. They were lucky to have been able to fall in love with their Mate. They were right about me being stubborn though, that had to play a part in why I stayed with Alice.

"Enough, Peter, what else can you tell me?"

"I can tell you a whole lot of things." He quipped. Apparently Charlotte did not appreciate his response either as I heard the sound of stone hitting stone and a low groan from Peter. I knew if I did not step in and get my information now he would attack Charlotte with all the lust that is running through him. Peter always has been a bit strange in other regards also.

"Captain." I let the Major direct me now. When they get into it, only the reminded that I am above them in not only the coven but in military rank can get him back onto track. In a way this would make it easier because the more his lust starts burning the more impatient he will be to take his Mate. It would stop him from being cryptic or less then fast in his giving of facts. I knew I was correct in my assessment when he let out a loan groan, called Charlotte a tease and informed us both he would be showing her just what she does to him.

"I believe the reason Alice is inviting you to finish the mating is because she has had a few visions of your True Mate. I do not know her emotions or her as well as you do Major. I do know that while she would not harm your Mate herself, her decisions should she feel her positioned is threatened would sentence her to death her very first day of school. On the flip side, if she believes you will stay with her she will not feel threatened by Isabella. Yes, her name is Isabella, Major. Without a threat she will have no reason to start changing her decisions for her desired outcome. Everything will come out just fine if you start making the decision to take Alice on vacation during spring break, where you will plan to exchange the last of the claiming bites." Immediately I began to plan to do just that.

When I had been with Alice twelve years I made plans to take her to Mt. Everest and claim her. We would be alone, enjoying each other and our own emotions. The snow would create a beautiful backdrop for us to renew our bond and them claim each other. It took two weeks to set everything up so a snow storm would prevent humans from being able to actively climb during those moments and no helicopters would be overhead. I thought it was perfect. Alice however bounced into the room, gave me a kiss on the cheek and informed me that although it was beautiful and she appreciated the effort, not only was it not time for us to claim each other it was just something she would not enjoy. She decided it would be more romantic to go to Rome for the week. She had already called the airline and changed our tickets. I tried again five years after that with a different location, close to shopping, and still she changed out the tickets and our location moved. So it was easy to suddenly start making plans for a vacation where we could claim each other. When I made a noise of consent Peter resumed.

"Good now Alice will not demand you claim each other tomorrow night. For some reason if she did, I am told you would have given her at least one more bite if not both." I objected to that. There was no way I would do it now. Not now that I had a chance of true happiness. I am not sure what I would have replied to him had he not cut me off.

"You cannot change facts Major. Just don't think about anything else other then the claiming trip. Edward needs to see it in your head in order to reassure Alice that everything will be completely fine. With his reassurance she will relax a little and will stop obsessively going over her visions and trying to tweak them to suit her." I pretended to ignore Charlottes breathy addition of 'again,' to our conversation. I am not stupid. Yes, I know she moves things around in her visions at times. I would find it strange if someone had such visions and didn't. The type of control it would take to resist changing things you did not like would be impossible. Not only that but her emotions would tell me even if she had not imparted that knowledge to me a week after we met. Of course I do not know which visions she changed and how. While we shared things occasionally, that was never one thing she shared. I never asked figuring she would tell me if it was important. After all there were tinges I would rather not share with her. It was only fair that I extended that courtesy to her.

"Also I think you should go on a hunt tomorrow, alone if you can manage it. If they demand someone needs to go with you, then take anyone but Alice. Rather then just merging your mindset let your instincts take over completely. If Alice goes with you everything will be that much harder for your True Mate. We are walking a thin line here Major. One step to far one way or another can end up getting her killed before you can change her." With that warning bouncing around my mind he hung up, leaving myself and the Major in a small panic. How easy it would be for her to end up where I cannot yet reach her. I didn't want her dead. It was more important now then ever to actually listen to the knowledge Peter obtained from the darkness.

Half an hour later found me reclined along the couch, arms crossed behind my head planning a surprise vacation for just Alice and myself. After all it had to be completely romantic if I was to claim her. She deserved it. We waited this long, a few more weeks to make it perfect was well worth waiting for it. The major suddenly started detaching with a speed that would have made me dizzy, had I not already been used to him getting the hell out of dodge, and hurriedly locked himself away. Alice would be returning anytime now with Edward. I had no doubt that she would have seen my plans for us and would want a little preview.

If there were one benefit to living with Alice, it was the sex. An early celebration wouldn't hurt anything. Besides, both of us needed to get out or frustration. What better way to take care of us both then a little fun. I was right. I had barely finished my thought before the door had slammed open and she had thrown herself toward me, giggling and kissing my neck.


	4. When Bella met Jasper

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. It is the creation of . I do not make any money. If I am lucky I do get a few reviews, which are worth more to me anyway. **

A.N: I still need a BetaReader. Any mistakes are completely mine. I am sorry this is a raw chapter. I am also sorry, I think I keep changing viewpoints but can not seem to fix it, or even tell if I am. If anyone is interested in helping me clean this up and edit it please email my google mail account. KivianaKosher should go before the at symbol. Please review and give me criticism so that I may improve my writing and my story.

Forks. Forks, Washington. If I had one thing that I could say good about it, it would be that Charlie lives there. I suppose that is reason enough to move on its own. I would have taken that reason as good enough for me to be here rather then back in Phenix, Arizona with my mom. So her getting married and wanting to travel with her new husband wasn't much of an added inducement. No the biggest reason for it was a simple three word letter. Three words. A huge disappointment when I was used to getting at least a full page from my secret stalker. Or should I call him informant? Either way his -MOVE TO FORKS- note was the straw that broke the camels back and ensured I followed through on moving to my dads.

I figured it would be awkward staying with Charlie after years of only seeing him for a few weeks during our vacations. I was wrong. Charlie leaves me alone for he most part, he only talks when he has something to say. Something I do myself. There was no stilted silences or uncomfortable glances. He showed me my room, and it was if I had never been taken from him. I had missed the quiet comfort my dad offers. After years of running around trying to keep my mom from killing herself and others, it is a nice relief to just be. To just take care of myself.

I am not so callous as to have left her to take care of her bills and stuff after having not done it since I took over at eight. I brought her ledgers and checks here with me. Phil was already busy enough with having his career, and now having to take over Renee wrangling, that it was not fair to make him do it. Besides, he had his own bills to pay and she wasn't his responsibility, she was my parent. I would never leave her to suffer her own inability to pay attention to the important things. Well, thats not true according to her they are the unimportant things in life. So I suppose I wouldn't leave her to take care of the boring, 'unimportant' things.

I think the thing I most enjoy about living with Charlie is the tree in the back yard. I love sitting in the middle of the yard watching the tree. It just captivated me. It brought me a sense of comfort that I had not found anywhere else in my life. I was usually not comforted by foliage, it was just this tree. Maybe because when I was younger I remember my mother telling me that the tree was a love tree, one of only a dozen in existence. Known for the way the bark twisted into a vague heart and the branches intertwined with each other. She told me that if anyone experienced the first kiss of their relationship with another under the tree, their love would be eternal and strong. Apparently she and Charlie did not share their first kiss under the tree. He was sure it was superstition, just an old tale passed down from the first generation founders of Forks. Mom however, was convinced. She and Phil, when they first started dating actually took a road trip down here and shared there first kiss while Charlie was at work one night. It should have been ridiculous to me as well, but it just seemed to radiate love, comfort, and joy. Perhaps the tree had just aborted all the emotions off of young lovers? Either way, it brought me comfort. I spent most of my time reading across the yard from it when the rain wasn't coming down. Charlie had even built a gazebo there in preparation for my moving in with him, so I could enjoy it even with the rain.

Charlie was such a wonderful father. He had even bought me a truck. I was out back in the gazebo now remembering when not even half an hour ago when Jacob Black and Harry Black had taken off ohm A long low growl grabs my attention. The hair on the back of my neck stands on end. I could feel my heart drumming against my chest trying to escape. I knew there were eyes on me. Something was watching me. I stood up and moved until my back was toward the back wall of the gazebo while I looked toward the tree line for what was hunting me. Maybe I should run and try to get to the house and Charlie's gun. Oh I wish he hadn't just left for the station or i could have hollered for his help. Logic asserted itself and reminded me that even a bear could run 30 miles an hour and running would just provoke it. My palms are sweating and I cannot really catch my breath. The only thing I can do is not move, at all.

Then again maybe I should curl into a ball, protect certain vulnerable area's of my body so when it attacks, and I have no doubt that it will, I may stand a chance of living. My breathing was becoming faster and shallower and I could feel an almost static building in my head making me feel dizzy enough to reach my hand out to grab the railing. Suddenly calm flooded me and despite the fact the growling was getting louder I could not find it in myself to do more then close my eyes and accept I was going to do. There were so many things I should have done. I could have told Charlie I loved him more, should have called him dad more. Renee would need someone to take over and I wasn't all that sure Phil could do so. Not to mention I wanted to read though all the books considered classics. The shivering kicked in with the cool air blowing on my sweaty skin. I know I should be afraid, and I try to be, but still I am calm. Is this the calm that overcomes someone when they are dying?

The sudden silence sends a shiver coursing through my body. I grit my teeth, determined not to scream out once the beast latches onto me. Oh God! I don't want to die!

A fanning of breath against my neck and my muscles clench so hard they start to spasm and my eyes snap open, better to meet death head on. I can be a bit brave. A gasp leaps from my throat as my eyes are captured by eyes so black they seemed to absorb the light around us. The intensity forces me to attempt backing up, only there is no where to go. I take a chance and let my eyes trail away from those haunting and hungry eyes. Surely this man, this god, can not possibly be the predator that let out that body freezing growl. Did he scare the beast off?

I swear there was an almost audible crack inside my mind as the pieces connected. Vampire. God, this was perfect. At least a bear would have been more normal, but no, I just have to be prey to a Vampire. When I started getting the information about all they myths and found out they were real, I should have figured there was a warning in them. Instead, I find myself in front of one creature I thought I would be able to avoid; Vampires, with my more then impressive force of will.

If I was going to die though, at least it would be the most sweetly handsome ma-vampire I had ever had the privilege to gaze up. Long beautiful golden hair highlighted his face created a halo behind him, emphasizing his sculpted kissable lips. I wanted to lean forward and take his lips. His nose was perfectly proportional to his face, and made his look aristocratic. His clothing was not skin tight but I could tell he was sculpted beneath them. God but if I was not so freaking calm I think I would be a puddle of orgasm inducing want. I wondered if there was a way I could induce him to take his cloths off before he ate me.

A slow panty wetting smirk took over his serious expression and his eyes seemed to darken further. Everything in the world seemed to fade out of the bubble he and I shared. I watched as his pale hand moved up and forward, and as much as I felt suddenly comfortable with just the two of us, I flinched. I swear it had to be the result of the speed he used rather then the fact he wanted to touch me. I wouldn't have been able to react still had I been fearful. The calm suddenly wavered and hurt and rejection hit me pulling a whimper from my mouth. Was I feeling what he was? Where else would these emotions come from? That would mean that he was giving me the calm. It would also mean I just hurt him. That was the very last thing I want to do. I don't know what it is, he could kill me if he wanted and I still would want him to be happy.

My ams seemed to have minds of there own as they moved toward him. I swallowed hard, some excitement and anxiety seeped into the forced calm as I finally reached up enough for my fingers to stroke his cheek down toward his jaw. A heat seemed to shudder through my body despite the fact that he felt somewhat cool against my fingers. He felt hard, unresisting and yet it was the most comforting and amazing thing I have ever felt. Awe overtook me, and this time I was sure some of it was my own feelings. Before I could so much as move another moment his hand was covering mine, his beautiful eyes closed and a small purr seemed to be coming from him. I couldn't help the giggle that bubble from my throat. The forced calm seems to have completely disappeared leaving my normal feelings of awe, excitement, comfort, lust, and love behind. It was strange, how could I love him? Feel so comfortable around him when he was not only deadly but was a stranger. A deadly, very attractive Vampire who I was moments away from attempting to jump him and see if I could convince him to take my virginity. Oh Lord! I couldn't help the slight horror, it was almost nonexistent I swear, about the fact that I wanted to fuck this man until I didn't even know which way was down, and I did not even know his name! Maybe I could get fit it in while we were doing the deed? He let go of my hand causing it drop but before I could do anything else he had his face buried in my neck, his purr increasing in volume. My whole body was suddenly boneless and I would have fallen had he not wrapped those strong arms around me and pulled me against his body.

Oh lord take me now! I could die right now and never have a regret, this was so worth it. Almost by instinct I turned my face into his hair and my arms went around his neck. The next thing I know he is guiding one of my legs up around his thigh and his wonderful lips started kissing my neck. I could not stop the moan that was bubbling out of my throat. His tongue licked my neck before I felt his open mouth kiss my pulse point, and for one second terror overtook me and I was sure I was going to die. Not that I can bring myself to care at the moment. His soft growl snapped me out of my fear and I went lax, all my weight leaning into him. My nipples tightened as my body leaned against him and another moan slipped out. I couldn't help but feel slight embarrassment, I may have wanted him to take me right now, but I really only had a few kisses in my lifetime and nothing so interment as this. My mind, no matter how much I keep trying to push it back, was suddenly filled with how little experience I had, a reminder I could not please this cold God who held me in his arms.

"Stop." His breath was cool against my neck as his honey velvet voice commanded me. "You are perfect. So perfect and Mine." It probably should have scared me with how possessive that comment was. Instead, I felt nothing but comfort in the knowledge that he wanted me. I suddenly felt more beautiful then I have in all my life. I wanted him to carry me away where we could just be together alone. Far away from any possible interruptions. "Who are you?" I murmured as my other leg wrapped around him. I could feel his harness against my core causing me to arch my back and wiggle. I wanted friction. i wanted him so much. I do not think I had every been so desperate for anything. He pulled back to look at me, his eyes still onyx. I wanted to cry from his lips being so far away from my body.

"Your Mate." I felt dizzy again. I felt a small pain in my chest as my heart stuttered then started beating harder to catch back up. The lust drained away and now all I feel is euphoria. Mate. This must be why I was informed by my mystery stalker. Why I was sent all the evidence, each gift of knowledge, and all the things, it was to prepare me for the greatest gift in the world. A Mate. Someone to love forever! I moved away enough so that I could fully meet his eyes again. His face was somewhat puzzled, as if he was wondering why I was wondering what he meant by Mate.

"I got some letters, I know what you mean by Mates. I know about what you are. I'm Bella. Well, Isabella, but I usually have others call me Bella." I bumbled out, suddenly nervous again and as a result was rambling. His eyes narrowed and I saw a scowl cross his face for one moment. He mumbled something but my ears could not hear it. At my sudden spike of nerves and curiosity he once again focused on me.

"Jasper Whitlock darlin'." His accent produced a moan in my throat, I could feel heat build in my abdomen. I was apparently a sucker for accents. Or his accent. I had never before gotten turned on by a southern accent. A scottish one, yes I admit it. I do not think there was anything about him that would turn me off. My eyelids covered my eyes and I leaned my head forward, resting it on his cool chest as he started once more purring for me, inviting me to languish again him.

"Jasper." My voice was unexpectedly husky and his reply was another sexy growl.

Cool fingers started stroking through my hair, and a content happiness filled me as he started murmuring in mixed Spanish and English. I swear he said something about how responsive I was, and something about my how beautiful I was. Time seemed to stand still and we just were. The lust was still coursing through my body but the loving comfort seemed to overcome it the more I time spent wrapped around his body, pressed against him. I had a feeling that it would always be an underlying emotion when i was around this Vampire. As much as I was eager to have him inside my body seconds ago, I am just as willing to take anything he gives to me.

"I want to take your body and turn you, so you can always be by my side, sweetheart, but my brother sent a text right before I started my hunt. He warned that giving into our desires right now would only get you killed. We are going to have to wait." He groaned as if he was in a pain so intense he was going to die. My head snapped up. I saw a blur of motion and realized it was Jasper jerking his head out of the way so that I wouldn't end up busting my head against his rock hard jaw. Did he just say it would get me killed? Fear started growing behind my sternum only to be squashed again with his purring. His cool lips kissed both cheeks and my forehead before he pulled back to gaze into my eyes. I was expecting his eyes to still be black, or if they had changed back to normal, an intense red. Instead his eyes were a shade of gold that I had never seen before. They are beautiful. Unnerving though for being not what I had expected and was told. Was I wrong? Was he not a true vampire? Maybe he was something similar that also had a mate. After all he wasn't ice cold like I had been told Vampires were. He had the unnatural beauty they all had, only he looked better then those on the video's or photos I had received. They all paled to him. No pun intended.

We were suddenly moving and a small scream of surprise scratched out of my throat. By the time the cry finished we had already stopped. Looking around I realized we were under my tree. The love tree. Why on earth would he move us here? A quick glance showed the clouds were going to let go soon. I looked back toward him as he started talking.

"He said you wouldn't appreciate it if I kissed you anywhere but under the tree for the first time." His hand was once again on my cheek while the other held me steady. My breathing started to pick up again as his eyes started glowing darker again. "My sweet Isabella, you are going to like this." His low chuckle increased the lust again. I could feel the anticipation building and licked my lips, his eyes moved to target the motion. It seemed to take forever but finally those beautiful full lips were close enough and I closed the distance between them.

Heaven. God. I am sure I have died. I moved my hand up and into his air clutching him to me. We started slow at first, chaste, my lips moved against his, almost fitting together perfectly. His cool tongue swiped the crease between my lips and I couldn't help but gasp. My tongue moved up to greet his as it surged into my mouth caressing each other. I couldn't help the moan anymore then I am guessing he could control the soft growl that caused my lips to vibrate. My body was on fire. I thought I couldn't get turned on more then I was a few minutes ago, I was wrong. I was going to die if he didn't start touching me more. I was going to die if his kiss didn't continue. I was going to die if we parted. More than anything though, I was going to die if he didn't let me touch him.


	5. Finding Her

**Disclaimer: I do not own or make any money of Twilight. It is the property of its creator S.M.**

**A.N. I would like to thank my fabulous beta katandjasper. If you enjoy Jasper and Bella stories as much as I do then it would be tragic to miss out on her stories. Watch dampire Bella try to stay one step ahead of Maria while trying to ensure her dreams come true. All she wants is to have a baby and stay with her mate Jasper for eternity. Her story ****Sometimes, Dreams Can Come True, ****is complete and she is working on a follow up. Any errors are mine alone. **

**Jasper's POV**

I do not believe I have ever been this nervous in my undead life. Not when I was fighting against for Maria. Not when I left Maria. Not when I first switched to animal blood. Not when I walked into the future with my ma-er, Alice, when I met Alice. This was important. After all Peter would never tell me something if it were not important.

Scratch that, he would. He had actually spent a whole month of our acquaintance informing me about sea horses and the life cycles they went through. It was actually what allowed me to start being friends with the ass. I had first spoken to him in an effort to shut him up. Then, a week later to ask him how he knew so much about sea horses when we could only really imagine what is in the sea.

Apparently the darkness that brings him knowledge reached through time, and apparently in the future a woman decided to read a whole book, out loud about the damn creatures. I wasn't sure about the darkness, still am not, but I knew it was a powerful thing. After all we were supposedly the creatures that were first made from the darkness and if Peter was getting messages from it, I should keep him close. Later it changed to real friendship not just me being an opportunistic bastard.

I took a deep breath and struggled to reign my gift in so that Emmett would stop looking so shifty. Although it is quite hilarious to see the huge guy act like he robbed a bank, and expected the cops to jump out at him. Normally if I project, someone points it out, however, they were long used to me messing with Emmett with random emotions and they just assumed that it was the same now.

"Jasper! Enough man, alright! I get it, I will return all your boots!" Emmett growled.

Wait! Did he say he would return my boots? He touched my boots! They were in storage for gods sake! I left them there because I couldn't wear them with slacks, and didn't want anyone to mess with them or toss them in the garbage. I shot him a glare and he tossed his arms up before running into the other room and returning moments later with twelve boxes that he set before me.

I would be calm, I can do it. Deep breaths Jasper. No need to let Major take over and rip him apart. That's right another deep breath. And another. Okay I was losing it. I guess my darkening eyes were enough clue because Emmett suddenly got on his knees and bowed his head, hands up by his side.

"Sorry, I didn't think. I mean...C'mon Jas-man! I didn't damage them. Why don't you go and hunt something down?"

Still holding tight to my temper I stood up slowly and marched myself out before I did something I would regret. It wasn't what they were so much as what they stood for. It felt too much like a betrayal. How did he even know where the storage unit was? I made sure he could never follow me when I would see them. So someone who knew had to have slipped. I can not in good standing blame Emmett too much, he couldn't help himself. It was too tempting. He was pretty damn smart most of the time, but give him an opportunity for making trouble and he would be up that tree quicker then a leopard.

The fresh air outside swirls through my body loosening all the tension and successfully batting down my anger. Emmett did have the right idea. I may as well hunt now rather then in a few hours like I had originally planned. Alice was out shopping with Rose and Esme. Alice wouldn't look into my future at the moment to check that I didn't kill anyone, and I wouldn't have an escort. Though Edward and Alice didn't really know it, when they were gone I got a lot more freedom in hunting. Nothing was constantly checked. I was actually pretty good at not going after humans anymore. Besides, Carlisle believes that if I do not make the mistakes I will not get better. In a way I believe he is right.

I love the feel of the ground resisting me as I move against it in a run that put planes to shame. I may not be as fast as Edward, but when I was running I didn't really care about much else. The aromas rushing through my senses, the taste in the air from the environment, the sounds whooshing through my ears, it was a symphony. A symphony that was created for my pleasure, and for as long as I wished to indulge.

The smell of a wolf caught my attention and I turned my body so that in a few miles I would intercept it, and let my rational mind go completely.

I rushed forward, oh the freedom of hunger, and want, driving me to quicken my pace after the delectable blood. I wanted to rip the creature apart and soak in its blood. No, I wanted to eat its blood and then soak in the blood of the deer it was stalking. So much better for myself.

I am close enough that I stop, and go still waiting, between the predator and the prey. I watched it stalk forward, venom overcoming my mouth and running down my chin. I always felt amusement watching another predator so focused on its target that it blocked out the real danger. It was so cocky, just like other vampires. I loved to show that I was the biggest, most dangerous creature. It was always more fun doing so against others of my kind but I would settle for this.

My legs tense as the wolf moves slowly forward. I know my eyes are still black. I feel the moss and bracken beneath my fingers then squeeze them together relishing the disintegration of the items into nothing more then dust. It feels so silky in between my fingers at that point. I let it slowly filter through while I watched growing more impatient. It should be quicker then this. I glance at the wolf and it has a limp. That explains it. It also explains why the creature is hunting alone. They left it to die. I let out a growl watching it freeze instantly. Standing up I sniffed for different prey.

I may be soft, maybe just a bit, because it reminds me of myself, preyed upon by those that thought he was weak. I will let it live and prove the other wolves it was just as strong if not stronger. I wasn't so hungry that he didn't get the chance to live. Closing my eyes I listened and smelled, turning an eighty degree angle and running forward.

There was something there, something that smelled so delicious. Human blood. I loved human blood. I wouldn't take it though. I could resist. After all- I had been determined not to intake human blood, and when I put my mind to something I always accomplished my goal, eventually. I took another whiff and I caught what I missed the first time. God, that scent was heaven. I wanted to roll in it. Take complete possession. It was mine. MINE Dammit. Why was it on him? Who was he to take my scent? He had to have been close to what was mine for it to have clung to him. I do not take kindly to those who took what was mine.

That was it, I was going to kill him. He had to have been around what was mine, female mine, mine, my female. Lovely, my female! She clung to him for a time. Or did he force her into something? Did he harm her? I felt a growl pull from my throat. I would have to go after him later and kill him. I could stage an accident and not risk our exposure. First though I had to make sure my female was alive. After all who knows what kind of man that blood bag was? He could have done any harm to her. It was more important then punishing him for being near enough to the scent of my female.

Another breath in and it filled my lungs. That heavenly scent. I turned toward where it was blowing from. Now that I wasn't so focused on that blood bag I could hear another heartbeat. Was she stalking prey? If she was hunting then she had to be alright. I could accept a human drinker. I would even go back if she wanted. God that scent made me hard. It made me want to kill anyone near so that we would be alone. I had to watch her hunt! I had to see her. My vampire with the beautiful scent. I knew that it was for me. Why else would it call for me? She was my mate. Mine. Female. My female.

I hardly felt the ground beneath me as I came close to a tree line. Where was she? Surely she would be in the trees if she in not on the ground. Creeping closer to the tree line I was engulfed in the scent on the wind again. Another growl slipped out as I caught sight of a female. She was hiding in stripped trees. Primitive shelter, maybe? No, no, I hear a heartbeat, that female must be prey. So where is my Mate? I would just kill the human and bring her to my mate. No no, that's not right. The smell is the human.

I would turn her! She was mine! Mate, but not yet changed. I would have to protect her. That man that was there earlier, what did he do? Her heartbeat was strong and I relax a bit. I want to go to her. Touch her. She is beautiful. More beautiful then any female vampire could ever be. I could feel her fear and it makes me sick. Who is she scared of? That man? I growl low. I will kill whoever has her so frightened. I will make it slow. She can watch on and I can prove to her I know how to take care of her. Then afterwords I can take her body and show her pleasure before I show her the pain of turning. Oh I can only imagine how hot her sheath will be. She will be so wet from all the pleasure I bring to her. Should I feed her first? She is not vampire, but she has to have food to have energy too. What can I bring her?

The fear is growing worse and she is moving. I growl in warning, She shouldn't move. The threat can be anywhere and at least she is in a fairly defensible spot where she is. I smell. I smell some more. There is nothing. The animals around are silent in homage to my ability to kill them with no effort. I hear nothing else. Another vampire maybe? No I can feel no other emotions in range. So what is she afraid of?

Can it be me? Ah, it must be because she has superior senses. She must know something is out here and her defenses are up. Silly Mate, she doesn't have to worry about me. I am no threat to her. I will care for her always. It's my job. It's my honor. If I turn her now then she will be in less danger, and maybe her senses wouldn't be so abused and strained. After all, she knows I am here, but doesn't know it is me.

I think it is sad that she can not see me. If I just show up her heartbeat will go faster. Too fast could kill her and that I will not ever allow. She will not ever leave me like that! I send her some calm. Her heartbeat is too fast. I do not want her stressed. With pride I watch as her shoulders relax and her heart starts slowing back to normal. Should I go to her now? I know she knows something is here. Now that her heart is normal she will not be scared if I am suddenly in front of her.

I can feel confusion from her. Some underlying worry. I can understand this. Her eyes cannot see me as mine can see her. Ah, well I can fix this. I can show her my devotion better this way. I feel nervous, anticipation, and I admit I am a little amused. Her lips are in a tight line, she looks as if she is ready to go into battle against anything. I am proud and amused that she can be ready to fight, even if I am sad she doesn't know I am not her enemy. She will though. When she sees me she will know I am hers. I know it.

I am inside the wood shelter and in front of her within moments. She is even more beautiful up close. Her eyes are shut, as if she is afraid to face me. It makes me frown. I can see her curls floating slightly, pushed by the wind. My phone moves against my hips and I glance down quickly pulling it up to see the screen. How else can I know who to punish for daring to interrupt my time with my mate. Her strands are so silky looking I want to grasp them. I love the dark brown with the subtle shades of red. She is glorious. I can imagine them as I take her, moving with her motions as I pound into her and she cries out in pleasure.

Who do I punish? I read the message three times before I comprehend it. "Kiss her under the tree but do not change her yet. One bad move, Major, and you can cause her death." It's signed by Peter. Peter. Peter. Pain in the ass, begging to get his head ripped off, Peter. I slip the phone away and looked back at my beauty. I cannot change her yet? I know it wasn't the threat. Pain in the ass Peter was never one for threats. Her preferred unwarned strikes. He also knew better then to threaten me. I can take him out too quickly for him to try it. That doesn't stop him instigating fights with me, but never when I am in the mood to destroy and burn something. Peter knew better. Peter was also to loyal. I cannot turn her?

I cannot turn my beautiful mate with the pale milky skin that looks so silky that I could spend all day licking it, touching it. I want to change her. I want to change her now. I realize I am about to do it to, so I decide to lock it with my other side. With us balanced I can save her. I can keep from turning her and keep an eye out so she is unharmed.  
I can feel us click together and our thoughts become one. God she is beautiful. This lovely woman is mine. She has a delicate look, as if she can break. It's does not make her fragile, more elegant, refined. Rare. The lovely curve of her neck and her unblemished skin sports high cheekbones in her heart shaped face. Her lovely full bottom lip was eclipsed by her slightly disproportionate upper lip, yet it suited her.

I cannot stop from leaning forward, my nose just against her neck as I inhale her scent deeply, sending shock waves through my body, then exhale. Her eyes snap open and I am sure I have met my final death. The depth of those brown orbs pulled me in, and showed me everything. I swear I could see her past and present in them. I could see our future. I feel her slight fear elevate again and realize how I must look.

I feel as if I could cry, does she see us as a monster? I watched her carefully as she shakes realizing there is no more room to back away from me. I frown and cannot help but berate myself. We should have went about this differently. Is this what Peter had in mind to find her? Somehow, I don't think so. Then again, he is a pain in our ass with a truly twisted sense of humor. I cannot help but smirk as those expressive eyes start looking me over. The lust alone was an amazing thing for any man to feel from a woman, from my True Mate though, it was almost euphoric. She looked at me like I was one of those human frozen ice cream treats. I really didn't mind, if she wanted to lick me, I could live with that.

With another breath the scent of her arousal assailed me. It took all my energy to slam down on my muscles and lock them up to prevent me from ripping her clothing off and taking her. I do not think that I have ever wanted anyone so much. I could feel a breeze against the head of my dick and realized I had broken through my zipper. With a quick movement I adjusted it so as to not scare her. I couldn't stop myself completely though, I had to touch her soft looking skin. I reached to touch her cheek and suddenly my world stopped.

I closed my eyes as rejection, depression, and agony ripped through my body. She didn't want me. My Mate, would not let me touch her beautiful form. I wanted to howl with the agony that seemed to overcome me. I wanted to find a fire and destroy myself. She didn't like me, didn't trust me to touch her. She felt lust, but that could be just the human reaction to my type.

"Why do you flinch away?" My voice is ragged and sharp. I do not think she heard me but she must have for just as softly she whispers that I moved to fast and she did welcome my touch. Then as if to prove it she moved.

Soft hands, so soft feathered against my cheek and moved down the side of my face toward my jaw. The euphoria was back. How could I have ever considered throwing myself in a fire and taking myself away from this jewel? After all I was a strong and smart vampire, I survived the Southern Wars, so I could just have made a plan to sweep her into my arms. To make her want to be with me. For heaven sakes thinking of throwing myself in a fire without even trying to win her, I am ashamed.

I was an idiot, I had a beautiful woman, my woman, and she touched me! Me, who was thinking about doing the worse thing a mate could do to another. I was thinking of leaving her in a permanent way. God, what an idiot I am. Fuck, she is so soft. This has to be the best moment in my life. Her feeling of awe just added to mine. I was content and whole the moment she touched me. There was not anything I wouldn't go through for this woman. For the record though, I could have won her over.

I reveled in her complete lust and enjoyed the rest of her feelings as they floated between us. Most of hers reflected mine and it made us content. She was reacting not just as a woman, with her lust, but the complete contentment that flowed from her was an instinctive reaction. She reacted as a Mate. It was so perfect that the purr that's rumbling in my chest came without my permission. The love must have beckoned it forward. I had come across others as they mated or just in the moments after, and it was nothing compared to actually going through it.

Her horror slammed into, though it was slight, and I swear had I not connected to my general personality I would have gone on a rampage right now. Whatever caused it, I would take care of. Was it because of me? I didn't want her to be horrified. Did she feel my scars? Did they distress her and make her think she was in danger? If I could have peeled my skin off, I would have done it long ago. Now I wished I could do so more then ever. She didn't stop though, and her feelings of lust had increased, so maybe she did feel them but like them? No one ever told me it could be so confusing finding your mate. Couldn't she just go back to giggling? That was so much better then the horror!

I moved forward burying my face into her neck. Safety. I was safe so long as I was with her. My purr started to increase, and I am praying for the first time in my after life, to make the horror disappear. Her body seems to melt into me and in triumph my purr seemed to wrap around us. I had to feel her body, I won't lie, it was only slightly done to keep her up, I pulled her against me.

Her nipples were hard against my chest and I swear my heart beat again. The lust was killing me and I admit I am scared another hole will be drilled through my pants with my best buddy. I admit I am not sure how I ended up with her leg around me, I am almost positive it was done by me based on the angle of her body and my arms. I am reveling in having her face buried in my hair, her arms around my neck. I can not stop myself from starting to leave open mouthed kisses along her neck. I stopped and paid extra attention to her pulse point, amazed at how it didn't pull me to drink it, and only slightly upset at myself for wanting to turn her right now despite it putting her in danger.

How can I do that? Even think to do that? The low growl replaced the purring she seemed to like so much. Those questions have caused me such terror that I think I may have projected it onto my lovely one. Her dramatic increase in lust at my growl pushed those questions away. She leaned more into my body, her nipples tightened even more against me. God this was hell. This had to be. Otherwise why couldn't I have her under me right at this moment, writhing in pleasure? Then again, it must also be heaven. How else- embarrassment? Fuck! She should never be embarrassed of the affections we bestow on each other. Worse, the insecurity that wallowed forward took my breath and thoroughly destroyed the beautiful moment. It was unacceptable! She feels insecure around me, her Mate! She is everything, she is perfect, she is MINE! I am hers. Her weaknesses will increase my strength, and her strength will carry me through my weaknesses. She was never to feel these while we are together! No matter what the situation. Neither side of us was pleased at how we felt but it was the Major part which spoke to her first.

"Stop." She seemed to listen instinctively to me. Perfect. Pride swelled in me and I can not stop it. Not that I want to. She is such a good mate already. So wonderful and beautiful. "You are perfect. So perfect and Mine." My voice was possessive and if she were anyone else I am sure I would be pushed away and admonished but this was not just a Mate, she was my True Mate, it meant she like who I really was. She would even love me despite my flaws.

I want to purr again at her feeling of comfort and belonging. I didn't think she would appreciate my chuckle when she asked who I was, True Mate or not, women generally get pissy when you laugh when they ask questions. Generally, they get pissy if you laugh at comments they are serious about as well.

"Your Mate." Yes, I should tell her who I am, but names don't matter when as much as who I am to her. To her I am her Mate, and nothing can change that now that we have touched. Her wetness was seeping though her jeans as she arched her back and ground against me, the friction was incredible and my eyes rolled back. If this is so intense, I am afraid the moment I enter her body, I am going to completely lose it. I will just have to ensure her pleasure before I take her body then. At least if I exploded right away I would get hard again without pause. It's great being a vampire. She moved against me as if she was desperate and thought I would deny her. Hell no! My body was hers to use. Oh yes, use me! Use me!

I do not like any emotion but pleasure and lust flowing through her at the moment. Apparently I am not doing a good enough job if she if feeling realization! Shouldn't she be feeling puzzlement rather then realization? And damn it she needs to be focusing on our physical needs. Honestly we can leave everything else for later because I am going to burst if we stop and I do not get the pleasure of her cumming against me. She must think my expression is something else because she provides her answers. I will settle for them at the moment so that we can get back to me scenting her in this singularly fun way!

"I got some letters, I know what you mean by Mates. I know about what you are. I'm Bella. Well, Isabella, but I usually have others call me Bella."

Suddenly I feel my frustration dissipate completely. She was adorable. Not a term I usually use but there is nothing more true. I could feel her nerves and I wanted to shrink her around to carry in my pocket. Not like a Sugar-glider or anything, though they were kinda cute in a very masculine way, more in the I wanted to preserve her forever. Oh wait, I can do that by turning her. I am not sure if she knows I am an empath but she sure has sending her emotions out down pat. I cannot just not respond to her curiosity. Plus, how will she know what name to call out in pleasure if I do not tell her? Sadly I cannot just send it via osmosis, as I would rather use my lips to take hers prisoner.

"Jasper Whitlock darlin;" I cannot help it if the more I get lost in her the more my accent comes out. It's hard on even a vampire trying to keep an accent buried while doing and thinking many other things. Plus, I really do not want to hide how I really am from her. There is no need. She will not decide not to be my Mate because of things she dislikes. She can not string me along and mold me into something else, because she would not be happy with the something else she would end up creating. We were absolutely perfect for each other in our raw forms .

I sigh feeling her head against my chest. She felt perfect there and I started consciously purring this time. If she wanted to rest against me for eternity, then I will happily stand here. Her repeating my name in the sexy husky tone pulled a growl out. God, if she wasn't careful she would be on her knees with me behind her, my teeth in her neck, as I took her. It may be a little animalistic, but it would happen that way eventually. Most likely not before I change her though. After all to mark her I had to prove I was stronger and Mate her after making her submit. It was just a vampire thing. It never had to happen again, but it was one of the best positions for sex, and with Isabellas sexy ass, I had no doubt it would be an even more appealing position.

I was right. Her hair is silky and my fingers combing through it sooth me. I am pretty sure it soothes her as well. I love how her body responds to me. It was absolutely wonderful to know how I affected her so much. I did not have to rely on checking her emotions, her body craved mine and she fully expressed that.

Despite being so turned on I am surprisingly content. Normally if I was shot down after a little kissing, I expected follow through. I would get frustrated when I was not taken care of. I could get down right hostile, to be honest. I never would take out my frustration on a female. It was one of my few rules. However, the males I knew usually were the targets. If I was lucky I could get them to physically fight with me to take out my frustration. A good workout always burns away frustrations in my experience, especially sexual frustration.

I know one thing though. I never want to let go of this angel. I am not used to sharing my plans, but for once I want to include someone in the circle of confidence. Who better to do that than with your True Mate? Plus, it was about her, and I can tell she is the type of women who gets angry when you keep things from them. Besides I needed her to know that I did want her, in every single way possible. Plus she already knows what I am, so no need to hide anything.

"I want to take your body and turn you, so you can always be by my side, sweetheart, but my brother sent a text," I muttered the part about the hunting, not because I didn't want to share, but because in a way I did end up hunting for her, just not as prey. "He warned giving into our desires right now would only get you killed. We are going to have to wait." It hurt, having to wait. Anything could happen to her. I did not want to wait at all. For either desire. Her head started to move so I jerked my head away not wanting her hurt. She was so damn fragile like this.

Her fear was stifling and pushed the Major forward again, he started disengaging with the rational general mind and was getting ready to kill any threat. I had to calm us both down.

Her skin was so warm against me. I remembered how hot humans were to me in my darker days. Hell, even when I ended up slipping, they were almost as hot as flame. The sensation of burning up against them was a big draw to my kind for sex and food. There was nothing quite like that sensation. Still I preferred her warmth. It did not scald, it embraced, and nurtured. It created while the others seemed to destroy. It was pleasant. I had to kiss more of her. Her cheeks turned into her forehead before I can no longer ignore my desire to feel her lips and know her taste.

Our eyes hooked each other once more and I felt her awe. She had already seem my eyes earlier, so I must conclude that she had relaxed me enough that my eyes were back to there golden hue. She seemed a bit unnerved afterwords though, as if she did not expect to see my eyes this color. If she knew of our kind she had to know about different diets, right? Her lower lip seemed to pout out and that was all I could take. I snatched her up and moved us to the tree with the strange branches that almost shaped a heart.

"He said you wouldn't appreciate it if I kissed you anywhere but under the tree for our first time." I tilted her head up with my hands on her cheeks. Her breasts were marvelous as they moved with her ragged breaths. She wanted to kiss me as bad as I wanted to kiss her. "My sweet Isabella, you are going to like this." I am quite confident of that. She would like this so much, she would crave my lips against hers. I would make sure of it. Her small pink tongue swiped over that bottom lip and I swallowed a moan down. I want her tongue licking my cock before she takes it into that beautiful mouth of hers. I am sure my eyes are back to full black as I closed half the distance. I would have went all the way, but I wanted her to concede that she wanted this through her actions. After all it would be much better then words could ever be.

I relish the sweet taste of oranges, I could tell that she had eaten it because it seemed to mask her natural taste just a bit. It didn't bother me, what was underneath it is so much better, and worth getting through the slight tang of orange. She reminded me of the honeysuckle I would pluck off and suck on when I was human. I had loved those so much, that my mother ended up planting those succulents. Isabella may have a vague strawberry smell but she sure didn't taste like them. I never wanted to stop tasting this woman. I wondered if she would taste vaguely of honeysuckle if I were to lick her pussy. I wonder if the other feminine underlying tastes would be there as well. I bet she would be slightly sweeter and I can just imagine it now as our tongues duel. I cannot hold back the growl and I don't want to despite how drawn out it seems to be. Her moan was candy to my ears.

I won't lie and say that I did not want to take her now. I won't even say that I am not about to rip her clothing off and make sure she knows who she belongs with. I will say though that I value her life way to much to take her now, when it could end up someone bringing about her end. That is not to say however that I can let her go without touching her, and making her cum around my fingers. It is also not say that if she should use those hot little hands one me...well I am only so strong, and it would be wrong to use strength against a lady anyway, so as to not to hurt her I would have no choice but to take what she dishes out.

Her curves felt wonderful against my left hand as my right caressed down her side, brushing against those breasts I wanted to bare to my eyes. Her moans and small mewls were driving me crazy and I couldn't help but curse against her mouth as I felt myself break through my jeans again. One hand grasped her ass pulling her against me, and earning me her leg climbing up my thigh again. I felt some discomfort come off of my angel and pulled back enough to relise she was having some issues reaching me with me towering above her as I did. Even on the tip toes of her foot that was still on the ground she couldn't quite manage it.

I consider the ground and the tree. The tree would probably dig into her back, and since she was still human, that would harm her. I would be dead before I would do that. The ground was probably too cold and I would not want her getting sick on me. Lets face it, snot really isn't attractive, and I would rather not have to see her wearing it if its avoidable. Plus if she gets sick, I would never forgive myself for being a catalyst to something that makes her uncomfortable.

"Back door is unlocked." Her solution worked. Besides the first kiss had passed. No, I would not take her to her room. Instead I would take her to the living room. Couches could be just as wonderful and I am sure more comfortable then the surfaces I was going to use.

I want to stop and look at all the pictures around to room, but I would rather look at my Mate as I taste and touch her. So much better. I unwrap her leg and plop down moving her to straddle me. Her core is sitting in the perfect position and my cock is playing peekaboo so only her cloths separate us. I would have to buy a different pair of jeans later on. Maybe even a different brand would help some.

Her lips and mine met again moments later after she was able to comprehend our move. Her hips swirled and then ground against my straining friend. We both moaned. I moved my hands under her shirt and stroked them up her back. With the amount that our lust was increasing, I knew we would probably climax before I did more then take her breasts into my hand. Within seconds I had her bra undone and my hands up the front of her shirt teasing those hard nipples and taking her startled yelp into my mouth. I pulled away for her to breath my lips going to her neck again. I loved her neck, and not just because I am a vampire. I started grinding up meeting her frantic thrusts while one hand massaged her breasts. She felt incredible. She was definitely made for me as her breasts were enough to fill up my hand and have some left over.

I pulled back to look her over and memorize this moment. Her head was tossed back and cocked to the side giving me better access to it. I enjoyed each movement of her heaving breasts as she was arched into them. I could see her glazed eyes and could not stop another growl from leaving me as I met them with mine. Isabella really seemed to like my growl as it sent her closer to the edge. I had the urge to mark her. I narrowed my eyes at her neck and watched her pulse. I may not be able to mark her or turn her at the moment, but I could mark her in another way that showed she was taken. I moved back to her neck and licked over her pulse as her thrusts started to get more erratic. I moved my hand to her waist to help guide her as I flicked her nipple with my other. Giving her neck I light nip I started sucking on the skin. Her emotions were strong enough to bring me closer to release along with her. I released the skin to give it another nip then sooth it with my tongue and that was when that beautiful cry of my name screamed out of her mouth. I thrust against her once, twice, three times and came myself.

Panting was not something you had to do as a vampire, that is unless you are used to breathing like I am. I relished in her panting against me as I held her bonelessly against me. I can smell her release, and started to harden again. I purred and buried my face against her neck again going back to my mark to work on it. No way was I going to chance anyone missing this tomorrow at school. They would all know she was mine. No one had better even think about her or I am certain I would kill them.

I could feel my angels confusion ten minutes later as she pulls back to look into my eyes.

"I am not...I never...the thing...ugh" She couldn't seem to get it out. I was to entranced by her passion flushed cheeks and the bruised lips to send her calm. That and I enjoyed her being a bit tongue tied from what we just did. "I'm sorry." She said snapping my eyes to hers. She is sorry?

I cannot hope but to be upset at that. We just shared in something amazing and she is sorry. I can not help the glare that forms on my face as I look at her. For some reason it does not frighten her, which is great really, and really that does turn me on. Nothing like a woman who is confident enough to stare an angry man down. I really wish I can take her now.

Hmm, maybe this time I can relieve her of her cloths and memorize her body with my tongue. Each and every inch of her worshiped. I snap out of it when she takes a huge breath inevitably forcing my eyes down to take them in. It really is a force of nature. Cannot fight against nature. God I am going to enjoy freeing those breasts from that tight blue button up shirt. She huffs this time before snapping her elegant fingers in front of my eyes.

"Sorry Ma'am." I grin at her unrepentantly earning me a smile. She is breath taking when she smiles. I think I am dazzled by her. "You are just to fucking hot for me not to look." That tantalizing blush makes me wonder where it ends. I want to find out but I can see we need to talk so I take a big breath. Huge mistake. The scent of sex makes me harder and I have to close my eyes and start thinking hard about anything to calm me down.

Now that I have found my true mate, its simple enough to get my body and pheromones under control simply by thinking about any other women sexually. I am not sure how to explain. Sure I can appreciate the art, but the thought of touching just does not excite me. If Isabella and I ever decide to invite others to our bed, and it will hopefully be never since I cannot guarantee the safety of anyone who comes near my angel with sexual intent, then I could touch without an issue. So long as we are in something together we could do it. Why though? I mean I have the perfect woman in my arms. Cute, sexy, and very sensual. Why would I look anywhere else. I know that once we get to know more about each other that we will fall deeper in love, and sex without love just isn't as good. She would be the last and only woman I will ever truly love. So to get away from lust I simply picture the women I most recently saw on the cover of Emmett's playboy. It works and I am down faster then Emmett gets in trouble. Slightly nauseated but no longer so filled with lust I could cut a diamond with my generous friend. Opening my eyes I see her amused expression and the nausea fades. Nothing makes one feel better then seeing their Mate with positive emotions.

"Sorry, I had to calm down before I tore your cloths off." Apparently with Isabella, honesty is not always the best policy. Heat flares in her eyes and lust hits me full force. God I think I am going to die at her hands. I pant and send us both some calm only for her to pout at me. I groan and close my eyes. "What were you saying darlin," yes, I am trying to distract us both.

I watch as she instantly blushes again and it is my turn to be amused. That damn pink tongue flicks over to wet her lips and I stifle a moan, and an erection. Damn it! The worse of it, and maybe the best, is that until we claim each other we will be constantly randy. I think it is natures way to ensure a human True Mate is turned. It will be next to impossible to claim her body and hold back the claiming mark, which has enough venom to start the turn if not very damn careful.

"I don't do this." Her voice wavered a little and she looked up at me from under her eyelashes. Oh damn it! If she doesn't stop this then I will have to go to the other room and talk through the damn walls to prevent us from interrupting the conversation. It is just so hard! Deep breath Jasper. Concentrate. Your Mate needs to come first. Yes, she wants sex, but she needs you to listen. Surprisingly that made it a lot easier for me. I opened my eyes again and nodded for her to continue.

"I've never done anything like this. I wouldn't do something like this with someone I just met. Honest but I know you. You said we are Mates, also. Still though, I am not the type to throw myself at someone." She looks a bit ashamed at that. I cannot hold back my smile and end up earning a glare. I raise a brow and her lip seems to curl up at the side.

"Just stating facts darlin'?" Okay yeah I am an asshole. She seems a little upset, so with a sigh I lean forward and kiss the tip of her nose. "You said you knew about us vampires. You also seem to know about Mates. If you do, then you should know that the need to touch is one facet of it. You should also know that while Mates enjoy sex throughout their life, intimacy and connection are absolutely imperative when they accept the bite, or in our case touch. It is not always sex, but for us male vampires, its pretty much what we think of when we think about intimacy. I will always want to have sex with you, darlin.' You are always going to want sex with me, always. We want that so much more for a good decade or so. But really it is the intimacy the bond is creating, and it seems that since you are also just as sexual a creature as a vampire, it is just leaning that way."

"You are saying I will always be in the mood?" She seemed skeptical. She was right to be. She wouldn't always.

"No, you will just crave it more often. If you were not in the mood we just wouldn't have sex." A smirk moved onto my face, "Maybe other things, but not intercourse." Ah, I think she caught on to what I was implying. Jesus, I am going to love bringing that blush to her face while she is human. It is so beautiful. I think it makes her eyes sparkle more.

"So the bond does not care so long as we are connecting?"

"No," Damn, I really wanted to keep that from her, bastard like of me? Hell yeah, but if it increased the amounts of time and how soon we had sex, then yeah I would have hidden it, were she not my Mate. If it were anyone else, I would fudge, but she is to precious to do that too. Oh I will end up lying about things. I am not going to lie to myself and pretend I will not. However, I will not lie to her about important things and our relationship. "It is more about the connection between us both physically and emotionally." She relaxed back into me.

For the next hour we talked about the things we enjoyed doing. I learned how much she loved to read and could not wait to show her the library in my study. I could imagine us spending hours in there curled around each other as she read and I did paperwork or enjoyed a book as well. I got around to asking her who the man was that was driving away from her house before I approached her. I will not lie I was beyond relieved that man was her father and therefore not competition or a threat. I am glad I did not hunt him down. Not only would it have hurt my Mate, it would have put distance between us that would be hard to overcome. We would still be together and Mates, it would just be that our relationship would be more rocky and she would always have that resentment toward me. It would be a chip on my shoulder that would weigh me down and I would have no way to truly make it better. It would be a miserable time for the both of us.

More importantly though, was two hours later when she finally noticed the texture of the wrist she had been stroking. When she asked me what the indentation was I could feel my body tense up and almost decided to run away like a coward. In the end though I just closed my eyes and trusted in the fact that she was my True Mate. I told her they were bite marks and told her how I got them.

She was bawling her eyes out by the time I was over with my brief summary. Beneath the sadness I felt such rage that it left me quaking with restraint and my eyes completely black again. I had never felt such depth of rage in a human before. I was sure it was at me for the things I had done. I am not proud of it, but I did do wrong so I was ready to take her wrath. I had hoped that the bond would keep her calm long enough to consider things but in the end the bond can only do so much. The rest is up to us.

I bowed my head and resisted the urge to beg her to see it from my view point. Her hands fisted in my hair and she tugged. She was not strong enough to force my head up, and I did not want to see her eyes, but in the end I followed through on her silent request. I was right she was angry with me.

"You are an idiot!" She yelled. I winced. Her voice was loud enough with her being so close that my ears protested, the echo was not appreciated either. Worse though, was her words. "I cannot believe that you would be ashamed over something that wasn't your fault!" Her little body was shaking on my lap and I could feel her annoyance ratchet up. "You said that you thought that was how it was. You said that once you knew it was not the life a vampire had no choice but to leave you left! Did you lie?"

I thought my mind had started to create things in an effort to keep hold of sanity. A Mate rejecting you hurt a lot. In many Vampires it was enough to send them into insanity on at least a temporary basis. If you were lucky enough your mind rebounded and your Mate turns back to you. After all it is equally hard for them to turn away in the first place. Even those who hate their Mate never turn away, to do so is to give up safety and your reason for living. So it is only logical my mind would try to preserve itself by creating a conversation that was so far from what she must be really saying.

"Well Jasper? Did you lie?" It took me almost a minute more to comprehend that she had really said it. My mind was not preserving itself with illusion. I cleared my suddenly dry throat.

"No, Isabella." She kept looking at me for a few seconds before nodding her head and smiling.

"Then you have no reason to be ashamed. You left by choice not by force." Her voice had gone gentle now and her hands started stroking through my hair rather then just holding my head by it. She gave a happy sigh and leaned against me again.

"You are so angry though," I do not fully understand her. The amount of rage she has is still boiling below her happy and content feelings. If it is not directed at me then wh-oh.

"They hurt you. She hurt you, Jasper, I don't like it. I hate that you were hurt. I want to take some long rods and stuff them up her ass and make her into a shish kabob. Always turning on the spit never knowing when she will fall in. She should suffer ten times what she made you feel. I may not be able to do much against her yet, but I swear on my life that I will make her pay."

My world froze at that moment. I never felt such defeat in my life. She was serious about making Maria suffer and that scared me so much that I was two seconds from locking her into a tower and making sure she could never leave. I had felt such relief and love as she told me she was angry because I was hurt. A love I could lose if she ever went after Maria. God help me! For the second time in my undead life I started hoping God was there and listening. It was time to lie. I had hoped it would come later, but this was the safety of my Mate. The safety of the woman I was already in love with and would grow to love more. I made sure I was not projecting and placed my hands on her cheeks and meeting her eyes.  
"I believe she's already been taken care of sweetheart." I moved my arms around her and pulled her against me as close as I could get her. I could feel her rage had not shifted, but there was some disappointment in her emotions now.

"Did she die painfully?" Her voice was raspy and I could suddenly smell salt. She was crying. I could not stop myself from closing my eyes and taking to her neck again.

"I heard she begged for death for weeks." I could feel her little head nodding against my body.

"I just wish I had been the one to pay her back for her actions against you Jasper. I care for you so much already." Her tears were warm against the fabric of my shirt. I grimaced when she sniffled but did not pull away.

"I know darling." And I do know. I can feel how much she hates that woman. I can feel just how much it hurts her that I went through that. She was so selfless and compassionate. I can find myself glad. It is something that I rarely was anymore. I stopped being compassionate before I met Alice even.

Shit Alice! I had given my word, or close too. Fuck! I had found my True Mate, and I loved her. She may not be in love with me yet, but she did love me. I always felt love when I was around Alice so I am quite sure she loved me, even if she was not in love with me. Surely if she did love me then she would never have waited for us to claim each other.

I had given my word and betrayed it. I did not stop to look at the consequences when I found out I had another potential Mate. When Peter told me it was my True Mate, at that, I didn't stop. I knew in the back of my mind that looking for her, or even thinking of doing so was a breaking my word. For the first time in my life, I had broken a promise.

Sure, I expected to potentially meet her. I thought after my hunt I would make a last second decision, and go welcome the Chiefs daughter. It may be an accident that I found her during my hunt, but I still had planned to look for her later anyway. What was I going to do? Fuck. I didn't want to let Isabella go, ever. I couldn't even if I had wanted to. However, my word was important. More important then my angel? No, but it was one of the very few things that had always been important.

I had no choice then but to go to her and discuss what happened. I am sure she will be pissed. I will stand there and allow her to take her anger out at me. That is as long as she does not go after Isabella in any way. That and she does not try to take my head. Otherwise, it is the least I can do for breaking something sacred. What kind of man did this make me?

I finally broke out of thought and noticed my Mate asleep leaning against me. It was dark outside, and since it did not effect my eyesight, I didn't notice. I watched in fascination as she breathed in and out of slightly parted lips. We could not sleep ourselves, and most times I was relived about that. When I was human I always had nightmares. It was one of the few things I remember. Now though, it made me sad that I could not join her in the world of dreams. I glanced at the clock and realized she had been sleeping an hour and a half.

It could not be comfortable laying against me as she was, so reluctantly I gathered her up and moved us upstairs and to the room that smelt the most like her. I did not want to wake her but she needed to know I would be back. I did not want to leave her for even a few minutes. I was worried about how the connection would affect her, with her not yet a vampire. I had heard that it could get strong enough to induce a heart attack in humans if the Mate went to far. It was something we would have to work out. I would come back here after my discussion with Alice.

I have no expectations about how it will go. Alice probably knows I want to have a long talk with her by now. I am careful about my decisions, as I do not want her knowing what the talk is about and making a move to remove Isabella. Alice is a not a hard or violent woman. She is however a vampire. Vampires are selfish, it is a character flaw in all vampires. They look out for number one until they find their mate, then look out for the Mate first and themselves second. Even those of us who are on animal blood are selfish. We may form tighter bonds and feel things differently, but in the end we are still selfish creatures. More then that though we are violent when angered enough. Worse is we are territorial and if someone takes something that we feel is ours, the end can be messy.

Were Alice not on animal blood the discussion would be a lot worse. My concern though, is despite her and I not fully bonding and becoming Mates, she still felt as if I were hers. I admit I felt that way for the first five years, then again after the first bite, but I have already explained all that. Not that it makes what I did right. No matter what I did a bad thing and broke my word. That would be enough to piss her off. Alice does not take kindly when she is disrespected. What I did, looking for Isabella, even seriously thinking about it, is a form of disrespect for my prospective mate. I would lose Alice completely and despite everything I did not want that.

I molded myself for her, to be her Mate, but even had I not she would have still have been in my life, just in a different way. If I had not wanted a Mate so much that I thought it was the end of it all, and worth everything, I would have had her as family or maybe even friend. Instead I not only am losing the closest person to a best friend among the Cullens, I am losing the dream I had of our happy future. Yes, I got Isabella out of it, and it is definitely worth everything I could have gone through. And yes, even had Alice and I finished our Mating completely, she being a True Mate, would have completely messed up the Mate Bond we had between us, she still would have had more input and options. For one, she could have mated with Isabella and we would have had a Tri-Mating. Of course hers would be more of a Companion Mate bond, unless she found a True Mate as well, (which the odds of are astronomical), but she still would not be betrayed by a man who honors his word.

I leaned down to kiss my Mate and stroked her cheek softly. I cannot help but grin as she nuzzles into my hand making my heart swell and warm. I didn't want to lose one moment of her life, human and vampire, but putting it off would only make it worse. I would put a perimeter around her home as a warning to other vampires that this place was off limits with no exceptions. After I would man up and go face the woman I had unintentionally wronged. Kinda.


	6. Facing Facts

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. It belongs to S.M. I make no profit of off this fiction except the payment of reviews. **

**A.N. I would like to thank my lovely Beta katandjasper for her help. If there are any remaining mistakes they are mine and likely made because I ignored her sound judgment or decided to add more at the last moment. If you are looking for any Jasper and Bella fanfiction check out my favorite story list. Thank you again to my talented Beta reader. Also, before you decide you do not like what Alice says or Jasper reacts, I encourage you to stay tuned for at least three more chapters. If you do not like it after that then I will understand and thank you for reading.**

**Jasper's POV**

In the end I hunted on the way home, or rather the Cullen house, home was now wherever Isabella was. I did not give fully over to instinct this time knowing I would just turn around and end up back by the bedside of my angel. It was a rush job, and I did not get nearly as much pleasure as I would have gotten had I been on my leisure. It did help clear up my head a bit though, and I was no longer hungry.

I found her sitting in the room we shared, leaning against the metal headboard with a soft smile on her face. I checked her emotions and she showed no sign at all about knowing the content of our upcoming chat. She looked at my torn shirt and frowned for a moment.

"Rough hunt?" She took a sniff and I felt surprise outweigh all other emotions. "Productive hunt." She commented her eyes darting to my pants taking in the two wholes in the crotch area. I had no doubt that she smelled my release. "Who was she?"

I jerked my head up to look into her eyes. I could feel some anger simmering in the background and sighed. This was not the way I wanted to start this. I raised an eyebrow at her when she sighed and indicated the bed in front of her. Cautiously I moved forward.

"Why did you never want me to claim you Alice?"

"I did!" She denied.

"Alice, it took far to long for the first mate mark." I could feel how upset she was by that and how disquieted she was becoming. I sighed, and moved closer clasping her hand between my much larger ones. "For the longest time, each time I tried to bite you, you threw a fit. I finally wore you down," She opened her mouth to protest that statement but quickly snapped it shut at my dark look. "You only yesterday decided we can finish up our Mating. We have been together 50 years now, and I we are still practically strangers. You kept me at arms length until I started to change to meet your needs."

"That's not true Jasper. I never asked you to change." I nod because she did not flat out ask. She did however show her displeasure by pushing me away when I did something she found not up to her quality. She also would reward me whenever I did fix what she felt was wrong. She may not have done it on purpose but in the end it was still done and in an effort to get my happy ending I did do it. I was not the only one that could manipulate emotions, I was just the only one who used a power to do it.

"No you are right, but you pushed and pushed until I felt I had no choice but to fix myself so that you would let me be your Mate." I could see her eyes fill up with venom and could feel the sadness and anger surging through.

"If you felt like that, you should have told me!" Her voice had changed to match her sadness and I held back a sigh.

"We never really talked about our relationship Alice, it was one of the few things you would not talk about with me." I was getting tired of this. I just needed her answers so I can move onto the next thing but it looked like I would just have to lead the conversation where I wanted it because Alice was just getting more sad and frustrated. She did not seem like she was willing to discuss the whys and how we got to this point, still not Mated 50 years later.

"Alice," I coaxed her and as I had hoped she tilted her head back up so we were eye to eye rather then her glaring at the cream comforter we were sitting on. "When I left that diner with you it was with the understanding that we would Mate together and be happy. You indicated my actions were as good as my word of honor in that I agreed to a future. I agree with you Alice. I stated my consent that my act of leaving with you was the promise and I broke that earlier today." Her hand was yanked out between mine with more force then was necessary.  
"I know, I smell that slut on you." Her voice was down right viscous her face twisted into a sneer that would put Rosalie,s to shame. I am sure she started to say something else because I could see her mouth moving but I could not hear anything beyond what she had just said. Venom raced through my body gathered in my mouth making me have to swallow repeatedly to keep it from falling out of mouth as I bared my teeth at the one who just royally fucked up.

If there is one thing every vampire knows it is that you do not insult or attack someones Mate in any way. More often then not it led to serious, if temporary, injury to the offender. Other times depending on the vampire who goes into the protective rage it can end in permanent disfigurement through bite or burning of a body part, or it could end in death.

When I was with Maria I did not have discretion over who I killed. I was not choosey, women warriors fell to me just as fast as the males did on the battlefield. I killed children when I fed often times afterwords taking there mother for my pleasure and then sating my renewed appetite on both the woman and the child's father. However, since I left, and learned that I no longer had to eat who and what she demanded, I had taken care to avoid bringing harm to either women or children. Even when I slipped, only once had it been a female. All the other many times I slipped and feasted on human blood it was on a male, and they were always old enough to be married in my day. Even when I let go and allowed my instinctive mind to overpower all of us, he tended to try to honor my wishes knowing we would both be upset if I harmed a woman. You may think that's a weird thought, but it was a commitment I undertook in honor of my mother, and her edicts that I can remember. That is not to say that if it comes down to it that I would not harm a woman, especially if it is in defense of myself, and now my Mate.

So it really is not that big of a shock that my mind is running through hundreds of battle simulations and calculating the best way to destroy the ethereal pixie sitting on the bed prattling on, and most likely railing against my Mate and further insulting her. I gently reached out and took her hand back, almost lovingly. I watched her body relax at my gentle touch and just as I predicted her eyes moved back toward mine and that anger quickly became sweet sweet fear.

I considered just taking a back seat and allowing Major to take care of this, but it was not just the Major's mate she insulted, it was the mate of every bit of me. The really pissed me off, and it was an extremely dangerous vampire that was going to show her just what happened when one insulted my Mate. She could have been that to me, and if I was not so angry then it would have meant more to me then it does right now.

I enjoyed the whimper that tore itself from her throat as she fought frantically to pull her small hand away from me and escape.

"If I were you Alice," my voice rasped; "I would be very very still, while I try to calm down enough to let you live. Not that I should let you after you insulted my Mate." If she had listened to me, things might have settled down, instead, she had to screech out that I was her mate. It only pissed me off more, unfortunately for her, after all she could not match the queen that was my mate. She was no longer even on a level playing field. The growl that ripped through me caused her to freeze completely and everything was blessedly silent.

Now that she was silent and still under my watchful blackened eyes I was able to regain some reasoning and found that although I wanted to make her pay for the insult, I did not want to kill her. It would clear things up, but I was honest earlier when I said she was the one I was most friendly with among the Cullens. Additionally, I did not want Esme and Carlisle to be hurt, and they would be, if she were no longer non-living her life. She would pay though. Not only that, but she would start telling me everything. Now. It was the strike that brought down my tolerance to her avoidance and games.

Oddly enough it was the feelings of fear that always calmed the Major down. That and submission to us. It is easy enough to figure out that I am a bit sadistic when it comes to those who are under my influence. It may sound arrogant, but I enjoyed others bowing before me as if I were the wind that commanded their movements. I was feared for a damn good reason in the south, and for the first time in front of Alice I was angry enough, (and no longer desiring to Mate with her has freed me to be as I truly am and not hide), to show her exactly why I was so feared.

That's not to say she had not seen me when the Major was dancing, she had seen him tear others apart in her visions. She would also see me whenever Emmett did something stupid enough to bring out my protective instincts or my sense of self preservation. She had seen me battle it out against Peter on my visits with him and Charlotte, again through visions. She had never been face to face with him though. After all the Major did tend to hide as far away from her as he could get. I am still not understanding why that is. I think whatever she had done to make him cower had been overcome by our thirst for defending what was ours. He was not hiding from her, but was here with my general mind, still clicked together, and so very eager.

"I won't kill you this time Alice." It was guttural and ragged, but I knew she could understand what I was saying, "However, if you ever insult my True Mate again I will destroy you so completely that even your ashes will not be found. Do you understand?" Her body quivered and I was sure later I may feel a bit remorseful for being so heavy handed. Then again, I couldn't really be since the reason for it all was my Mate. "If you hurt her," I had to continue, "I will not waste any time, and will destroy you." It is kind of sad to me that vampires can not cry. It would be beautiful to see the distress of my opponents drip down their face as they cower before me. "Well?"

At my prompt she whimpered and started nodding furiously. Her hand trembled in my grip and in a faux loving movement I ran my thumb against her palm enjoying the confusion and emotional reaction this induced.

"I am not a bad man Alice, but I am a firm man and I do follow through. If I did not then no one would ever trust me. I may be giving you some leave because I did break my word to you, but you will still not be getting out of this situation without punishment. Now why don't you relax and answer my questions while I calm down some?"

"W-what k-kinds?" her voice was trembling as hard as her body making her stutter over her first two words before she swallowed and determination filled her frame and emotions. "What do you want to know?" Her eyes were down, not meeting mine, her head bowed forward showing me she was coward.

"I want to know why you lied to me? Tell me Alice, why did you not allow us to make the connection complete, hmm?" I waited in silence not moving, just watching. She did not answer right away and I could feel the desperation in her emotions. Still I refuse to move until she answers what I want to know.

"I didn't want to fall in love with you." Her voice was a whisper and almost to low for me to catch despite my enhanced abilities. She snuck a look up toward my face and I simply raised my brow, silently encouraging her to continue. "When I woke up I knew I needed protecting, in every future, I saw myself abducted and tortured for the amusement of the man who was stalking me while I was locked in that asylum. I decided to find a way to survive and get out of that situation. I decided I wanted to have a happy future. So things started coming in. I did see you first thing after I awoke. I knew that you were strong and I seen what you could do. I also knew we had the potential Mate connection. I admit I am selfish. I knew that I would eventually find someone who better suited me, but I loved you. I care more for you then I thought I would."

"You lied about us Mating and having a happy future?" I admit betrayal had washed over me along with incredulity.

"No. No. I saw us having that, but I also saw more. I saw we would be happy Mated, but we would miss out on something more. I saw that I could end up with a man who was perfect for me, who I would be even happier with. Its just, by this time I loved you and I wanted to be with you. Eventually I started feeling guilty and decided to let you go, only things got horribly bad for you. Even in my future with the other guy I would see you in the background happy. So I changed my mind back. In the end it was better for me anyway because I would get to keep you, and you were happy again. When you wanted to leave I saw you die, Jasper, and I could not have that. I care too much for you to be taken away completely. Besides, if you left I would be alone until I found my Mate."

That Bitch. I was changing my mind about killing her. I think she got a vision of her destruction because she started talking so fast and high pitched I would have been able to detect her fear without a gift.

"I saw that if you stayed and lived you would find someone perfect for you. I thought about telling you that I did not want to be your Mate anymore but if I did you would leave and I would lose you. Not only that but as my visions of your future came more frequently I started seeing who she was, and the more I saw the more I found myself liking her. I saw myself having a friend to do things for me, well with me. If you left then you would not find her until she was in her eighties and I would never have gotten to meet her and make her my friend. I wanted that. I just am not ready yet. In a few more years I will find my Mate and I would be able to let you go and lead you to her. I did not know she moved here Jasper, though I did see losing you completely so I had to tell you I wanted to finish the Mating.

Somehow though you did end up meeting her. I did not see it. Sometimes it is hard to see her, she completely disappears and I have to see her through other eyes in a vision. You met her too soon, and I do not want to let you go yet. Not only that Jasper, I thought you had cheated on my friend! I did not realize it was her scent on your clothing. I cannot help but protect whats mine! I had to protect her interests too because she is going to be my friend, or was going to be. Please Jasper, I did what I had to."

Like I told you all before vampires are very selfish creatures so I can not completely blame her. In fact, I could not do anything. I do not believe my mind is functioning in any way at all. I shut down for a moment. I mean how else would I feel nothing. She lied to me for years. She dragged me around with false hopes when she knew that I would find my True Mate. She used me for protection despite feeling the Mating connection between us. She molded me into what would make her happy knowing that she would end up with someone else who was apparently already perfect and did not need her fixing things to suite her.

I could hear whimpers coming into my ears and could feel the limb I was holding jerking around, but it was all peripheral. I always considered Alice a good person. She wasn't. Though apparently her guilt did end up forcing her to start looking forward with my happiness in mind. In the end though, even that was for herself so she could keep me around and gain a friend. But not until it suited her. I wasn't sure if I should reconsider killing her or not. I needed to talk with someone about it and why I would normally turn to Peter for guidance I had a Mate for that. I had no doubt that Peter would add his opinion or knowledge as it came to him, but the first one I would discuss this with is my Mate.

I focused back in to find myself pinning Alice by her neck to the wall with one hand the other had apparently relieved her of her own hand, the one that I had just been holding. I very seldom blacked out and let the demon out. Peter called him the God of War. I called him Ares. Either way he only came out when I was beyond angry and usually would decimate everything around for miles. Apparently he could not stand much of Alice, much like Major, and only stayed around long enough to allow me to regain my mind. I needed to find out if Alice had another power or something because the Major was afraid of no one. Except maybe Isabella a bit, and only because no male is stupid enough to underestimate the woman they are mated to. Ares would be even less affected than the Major was, so it made no sense. Somehow, he went back under control without him getting his bloody satisfaction.

I hate to admit it but if this situation was not happening to me I would have been proud of Alice. She saw what she wanted and went for it. I usually appreciate that. However, she never should have went against me, or used me in anyway. I would not even feel sorry for the poor sap she had strung along, except I am him and I am most definitely not a sap. For making me even use that word in relation to myself has earned her more punishment. Damn it, she should have been using her visions and mind for us rather then against us, even if she decided we would not Mate. Damn her to hell!

Suddenly I just knew what the perfect punishment was and I waited until her eyes went out of focus seeing the decision I had just made. Before she could come back I had turned her around and slammed her face first into the drywall creating a huge hole that would have go be fixed if I wanted any peace from Esme. I knew were someone to look at me they would see the dark satisfaction that warmed my black eyes. It had been such a long time since I had given a Master bite, but it was something I would always remember how to do.

I heard her shriek and knew she was out of her vision and took that as my cue. I did not want Carlisle and Esme to see the mark so I pulled down the collar of her shirt to expose the area right below her neck and between her shoulder blades and surged forward snapping my fangs deep into the skin, through her tissue and muscles cutting nerves and ligaments temporarily, until I was sure I could get no deeper and started to pump the area full of my venom. Sure it would hurt more in this area but it was just a lucky happenstance. I forgive a lot more then most people would think I do, with the exception of being betrayed. And to me this seemed like a betrayal. Beyond that though she way playing with my existence and happiness. She also fucked with my Mates life by trying to keep me her toy until she found the man she really wanted.

Finally the woman my teeth were sunk into went limp in my arms whimpering and pleading and I cut off the venom flow and slowly removed my teeth from her.

"You will tell me any and all visions you have regarding me or Isabella from now on. Unless it is urgent you will give me an update once a day. Do you understand?" It is not my fault she found my voice menacing enough to shake the windows next to us. Her affirmative response was squeaked and and dark chuckles swept through me. I released her and let her fall to the floor her legs to weak to hold her up after that type of pain. She would fight it, but she would always do what I said in the end. Sure I could have just pumped her full of emotions to get her to do my bidding, but this way was much better with the added bonus of her being unable to betray him. "You will no longer make decisions in regards to my future without discussing it with me. You will tell no one about your new mark and determination to obey what I say, and you will do nothing to bring about harm to myself of my Mate." I watched her head nod to each order while she remained facing the wall and sobbing.

"Apparently I let you walk over me so much over the years you decided you got to change my future for your comfort. I am no longer going out of my way to be someone else to please you. Eventually, if you are good Alice, I will release you from service. No matter what though, you will learn not to screw me. Now I am going to return to my Mate and you are going to clean yourself up and pretend everything is fine to your family. I will return in time to change and pick up my things to take Isabella to school. That reminds me. See if you can find a way to get my classes matched to hers, I do not want her out of my sight, where I cannot protect her other then for her bathroom breaks. Apparently I am unable to change her at the moment without inviting trouble." I turned and flitted to the closet to grab a few pairs of jeans, I had no doubt I would go through them fast enough with my Mate around, and having them handy will be a great deal better then the indignity of walking around with holes in my crotch. With a last thought I grabbed a few books to keep myself entertained and my cell charger and walked out of the room I would no longer share with Alice.

"Oh, and Alice, you will keep anything I have shared with you or will share to yourself. I would hate to have to show you what happens to those who share what I have told them." Actually, there were none who have anything I have said to share, all those that could have are long dead, with the exception of the pain in the ass himself and his lovely mate.

I am desperate to see my Isabella now. I am justified in my actions but I still am not happy I have had to resort to such things. Not only that but I am trying very hard to resist running back to Alice and detach her and light a pyre. I wanted to find out how my Mate felt about everything I was told. More then that though I want to enjoy the comfort and fulfillment being around her brings. I feel calmer just by picturing her as she was before I left. She looked so peaceful curled up around a pillow as she mumbled my name her hand reaching for me as I moved away from her.

I have to admit it but in a way Alice did do me a service. I am very glad I found Isabella before she was in her eighties. I wouldn't have hesitated to change her at that age, anything to keep her by my side, but it would have been very hard for us. More so it would be hard for her to accept a man who looked sixty years her junior. I bet she would still have been a wonderful and I would still come to love her, I just had a feeling that the intimacy would take a different route. Who really knew though? I suppose I would still want to take her just as much, but it was thankfully a moot point and not something I would have to find out. As much as it makes me seem shallow I am grateful I have her as she is now, young and vibrant. She was old enough her body was nearly done growing into that of a full woman all smooth curves and soft inclines but still young enough that she had the sweetened innocence blurred with youthful assurance that made reaching adulthood still a thing of excitement.

Her father had still not returned yet from his night shift and so I set about entering her house through the front door. I am very lucky I know how to pick a lock. Eventually we would get me a spare key, but until then I would simply finesse my way through the door if her father wasn't home, and when he was well, we would figure it out later. I really did not want to have to enter through her window if I could avoid it, it seemed a bit creepy and criminal to me, though I will not hesitate to go through it to get to my angel.

I shut the door softly behind me and removed my shoes, my small act of respect for her fathers home, before moving through the house. I was going to go straight up to her, but a picture of her arm in arm with a Native American boy caught my attention and I could not help moving forward to inspect it. I cannot help the frustration that another male had touched her, no matter how long ago the picture was taken and how old they were. I recognized an old man in a wheel chair smiling in approval in the background. I cannot stop the groan for anything. Apparently she knew the Chief of the local tribe, and my guess was friends with his son. It normally wouldn't be a problem but these Natives have a strange tendency to sprout fur and fly off the handle in anger at even the smallest misstep. Damn it! What, does Isabella wear a sign saying 'come and spend time with me, I am okay with monsters!'? Next thing I know a damn unicorn will show up and attempt to steal Isabella away and force her to be his cuddle slave for eternity!

I can only hope that as she has gotten older she is no longer so close to the boy and his father. Yes, I heard that the wolves are supposed to be gone, so what? After all we vampires are not supposed to exist either. Since I was already in the living room at this point I may as well take the time and study the other photos laying around.

None of them were particular special, excluding the fact that they mostly featured my Mate of course. I must say though that I do enjoy seeing her as she grew from a chubby fuzzy haired baby into the beauty currently turning over in her bed up the stairs. Ah well, I better hide my shoes and head upstairs to Isabella where I can settle in until the morning. I hope she isn't worried about starting in a new school. She seems the type that would be though, especially if she wants to be liked. It would not matter though, I would be beside her and no one would dare treat her badly while I am there. Besides, I have no doubt that with me present I can stave off her anxiety and make sure tomorrow, and all her days after, are enjoyable. Well as enjoyable as high school could be. Poor thing, maybe I should say screw it and turn her now, at least then she would not have to suffer attending an annoying swarm of hormonally charged teenagers who are only outclassed by the teachers in the snide and lusty department. I only wish someone would spare me of it.


	7. How To Learn Your Mate

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT IN ANY FORM. TWILIGHT BELONGS TO S.M.

A/N: Thanks to my Beta katandjasper. I have a huge decision to make on which of the two paths I want this story to go to. I am having a bit of trouble with that. One path will make the story longer and have a bigger story line, or I can do a fairly lengthy story that centers around Alice being somewhat crazy. So crazy Alice or bigger enemies then Alice, that is the question. I will figure it out. Another thing everyone should know is that a new story has popped into my mind and I am creating it. If you enjoy my writing be on the lookout. LASTLY: I will be participating in the **Blackout on June 23****rd**in effort to protest the new policies. If you want fanfiction to keep things as they are, please join the rest of us in avoiding all that day. Surely we can manage.

I woke up believing that everything had been a dream. Charlie had his head stuck in my door and let me know he was home and going to bed. I gave him a quick nod and watched the door closing behind him. I had to get ready for school anyway. A quick movement out of the corner of my eye drew a squeek from me. The husky laugh I got in reply instantly sent heat coursing through me. My head turned so I could look at him and give him a smile. I am sure my relief was washed over my face.

"I didn't think it was real for a few minutes." His understanding smile made my body relax. I did not want him to be offended, but he seemed to get that everything that happened was so wonderful dreams were made of it. If this were a Disney movie I would have started singing about how dreams are wishes my heart makes or whatever.

I reached out and grabbed his hand as he stood staring down at me with a soft smile. I gave him a tug and he was kind enough to follow through on my motions even if he could have resisted with no effort. Once he was next to me I turned to lean forward and gave him a small chaste kiss. I would have given him a real one had I not been worried about morning breath. I pulled away to see his eyes glinting and a sweet smile crossing his lips.

"I think I can enjoy mornings, not only do you look sexy with your hair mussed up, but your happiness at seeing me is worth months of starvation." He teased me. It took a bit to really examine what he had said about my hair but when I did my hands shot up to try to get it in a semblance of order. Oh God! I can only imagine how horrible it is this morning. I shot him a playful glare, his responding smirk prompted me to grab my pillow from beside me and whack him over the head with it.

I was sure he would have dodged it but he seemed to actually be surprised at seeing me swing it at him because he just froze up staring at me incredulously before it collided with him in a solid twack, His hard skin ended up ripping it and suddenly feathers were flying everywhere, raining down on us. He just sat there blinking for a few moments before I could no longer hold it end and started laughing. His lips turned up into a small smile and he shook his head before growling lightly and pouncing.

My laughter stopped abruptly as I looked into his dark eyes. His smirk spread across his beautiful lips as he stered down at me.

"God you are beautiful Isabella." His lips took over mine. He was gentle at first, coaxing my lips to play with his. I could not have stopped kissing his back if the house were on fire. His cool tongue urged my lips to open and I stopped thinking, opening up to him and dueling against his onslaught. When he pulled away I could feel my lips pout up at him, my eyes half lidden full of lust and want as my hands went to his hair to try to tug him back down. I wasn't finished yet.

"You should probably get ready darlin, if I keep kissing you then you will not be making it too school today." His body rolled off of mine and the groan of dissapointment was evidence I did not want his body anywhere but covering mine again. I rolled up onto my side and curled against him tossing my arm across him and cuddled in.

"I think I am sick and won't be able to make it today anywhere." I made a sniffle, and sadly it was very obviously fake. Too fake. For once I wished I actually had a talent for acting. His laughter wasn't the dark sexual one of earlier but one of pure happiness and amusement. I could not stop myself from laughing along with him at how obviously fake that was. I can not remember a time I was ever this carefree. I am not worried about anything in this moment. No bills, no feeding anyone, nothing mattered but the manpire I was cuddled against. His fingers ran through my hair as we layed together still feeding off the joy of each other before I began the day. I glanced at my alarm clock and sighed. If I took a ten minute shower I could enjoy myself against him for another ten minutes.

Better yet, if he took a shower with me I could revel in his presence and take a hot somewhat long shower. Maybe I could persuade him. He must have sensed my lust or something because suddenly he groaned.

"Whatever you are thinking about the answer is yes."

"Great, so lets go take our shower then." I kind of have to admit his eyes widened in surprise and I was somewhat proud. I mean he has to be very old, maybe even a thousand years or something, and I am able to surprise him.  
"And here I was thinking you were an angel." His smile was wry as he got up and offered his hand to pull me up. "But you are apparently a little devil sent to tempt me." He batted his eyelashes at me assuming an innocent expression. He certainly was handsome enough to look like a true angel, but his whole person just screamed deadly and dangerous. Needless to say I was unconvinced that he was innocent at all. Though he was right, I was going to tempt him as often at possible. Not only did I find the power I had as a women, for the first time in my life, heady but I also felt impossibly beautiful. I had never been so confident in my body and self.

The way his eyes looked at me though, the lust I can pretty much feel wafting off of him, and those delicious growls that warn me that I am about to be consumed, make feel like the only women in existance. I no longer wonder what he sees because it doesn't matter so long as he does see me. I feel like I am more then enough, that he will have to struggle to keep up with me because I am going to be more handful then he expects but exactly what he needs if he is going to survive. It was nothing I had ever felt before and I had I feeling it was something I would always feel so long as he was around.

I felt like one of those sassy girls in movies that reach out and drag the hunk by the tie and pulls then down into heated kisses. I cannot say that I do not like it. If it were anyone else other then this man the I have no doubt I would wonder why they would want me. I would always be fumbling over everything I said and emberassing myself. I would probably do everything they would say so that they stayed with me. With him though, I wanted to drive him crazy in as many ways as I could, and not just sexually. I could listen to what he says and take it or leave it without pandering to his wishes. I guess that meant that I was not only confident in myself but that I was even more confident in him.

He took a deep breath in and seemed to savor the air as he continued to lead me out of the room and to the bathroom. To be perfectly honest, I wanted him to take me and my body to be filled with him, but I didn't want it to be rushed, especially for our first time. That did not mean that I wouldn't take it though. So either way this shower turned out would be good for me. It didn't matter so long as I could touch him and explore his body. I knew I would feel even more lust then I did now as he disrobed and I could hardly wait. My hands were clenching as the door shut behind us and he reached out to caress my cheek.

"As much as I want to, I won't take you now Isabella." He wasn't saying something, I am not sure how I knew it but I did. He wasn't lying but there was something behind it. It didn't matter to me. I was a bit dissapointed but like I said I figured if we came together now then we would never be able to get to school on time. Like I said just touching him and seeing him, no matter how hot I became from it, would be enough to satisfy me. If we were lucky then it would also satisfy our bond. After all washing with someone was one of the most intimate things in this world. So far as I know it that is.

I may not be self conscious but I am nervous. I had never fully seen an unclothed man in person. Yes, I did do some online searches. I am a curious women, I am sure anyone would do it. I have also touched myself enough to know what I like best. I have also imagined them when I would read erotica. I do favor the classics but even I need a break on things. Plus, the classic erotica is altogether a different experience to the ones written now days. So I knew what to expect. I know what good looking men look like all over, but to have one in front of me, especially one who means so much to me already, is a rush. If I get so worked up that I explode into orgasm on his lap with us both fully clothed, I am not sure how I can survive him naked touching or not.

I kept my eyes locked with his as my hand reached his first button on his shirt. While I was not into dressy cloths myself and thought it hillarious he wore such preppy clothing, there is something so erotic about unbuttoning a mans shirt. God this was better then unwrapping a present. I cannot help but stick my tongue out the side of my mouth as I concentrate. It is such an unconscious thing I do that I almost did not know I was doing and would not have if he had not dropped his eyes to watch it poking out. His hand roamed up and down my side as his other stroked my cheek patiently waiting for me to reveal all of him. I can feel his cool skin as my hands move down to the next button and the next. Those small indents on his skin bring my anger bubbling up again. How someone could hurt him was beyond me. I wished that I was the one to end that bitch. Maybe stuff a blow torch up her ass and burn her inside out, but apparently she was already taken care of. I would thank whoever did kill her if I wasn't so pissed I could not revenge Jaspers pain and hardships myself. I could have lost him so many times. It was a miracle he was here with me, patiently carressing as I stripped him bare. I want to cry about it again. I want to get down on my knees and prey and thank God for it.

A quick flash of my eyes to his face let me know he is feeling ashamed. It is the last thing I want.

"I could have lost you," I hear the tears stuck in my throat. "I am so proud you are mine. So glad you are here." I leaned forward and kissed a mass of scars that were reveled eye level to me. He may have been cool and hard as a rock but the feel of his skin against my lips was beyond words. Lust raced through me burning me up inside, but this moment was more important then my sexual need for him. This moment was about showing him that I find my happiness in him. Still though I could not stop my tongue from daring out to taste the patterned skin. The texture was so different then anything I have come across. "You are such a strong and beautiful man." I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry. I shut my eyes and rested my head against his chest for a minute. His arms pulled me closer and I relished this moment. I finally felt him nod against my head and pulled back to send him a shaky smile before contiuing with my tast.

He was all pale skin and chisled marble. I pushed his shirt off his shoulders and heard it flutter down. It did not matter though because that beautiful vee that ran into his pants was more interesting. His abdominals were firm and shapely, and I imagined that before he was turned he must have a very manual job. Then again I was unsure how the venom effected him. I could imagine though him shirtless as a human flushed and tanned as he worked beneath the sun. My eyes move over the where I can see blonde hair trailing down to dissapare into his jeans. He was straining his zipper with his excitement. He stops my hands so he can pull the shirt over my head and it causes me to start a bit surprised I had not noticed him moving it up my body. Apparently he had gotten to eager to see my flesh that he stopped his gentle stroking along the outside of my top. I am reluctant to pull away from him to lift my arms but do it anyway before I reach out and release the button on his pants.

I follow with my eyes as his pants slip down his body. I must say I am loving that there is nothing beneath. He was so think and hard. I knew it yesterday he had to be big, as I moved against him, but seeing it was something else. It had a slight curve to it and I can just imagine how it would feel rubbing against the walls of my sheath. I swear that that small curve will ensure he can hit the most sensitive spots with every stroke.

His hands ghosting over my collar bones and down over my breasts distracted me. His dirty chuckle as my nipples hardend had me sending him a playful glare. His hands moved back down to my hips tickling me to the point that I am squirming to get away from him while an almost evil look crosses his face.

"Look at that, my little devil is ticklish. I will have to remember it." Before I could tell him he had better not he leaned forward and a light pressure is against my lips, before I can respond he moves backward and turns the shower on. I am not sure that he will be able to tell if it is to hot or cold for me, but as I watch he seems to turn the knobs until it reaches the temperature he wants. He reaches back for my hand and I place it his. He lightly pulls me forward and I follow him into the shower. The water spray is almost perfect as it flows over my head.

I reach forward and grab my loafa and start soaping it before I turn back and with a smile I step back beckoning him forward under the spray. Once he was under it I reached forward and began to wash him. I had never felt such profound emotions as I am feeling right now when he allows me soap him up. In fact it is so profound that the lust I have been feeling is relegated to the background and the joy and confort of the moment eclipses everything. Nothing matters but this moment between the two of us where I was taking care of him, showing him my care, and learning every bit of him. He remained half mast just as I remained wet but neither one of us turned this moment into something sexual. Not even as I kneeled before him to wash his legs and privates. Not that he remained at half mast at that moment.

After I stood and washed his back and his very nice butt he turned around and grabbed the loufa resoaped the thing and with a quick sweet peck to my lips he commenced taking care of me this time. He washed me firmly with each moment a loving caress. I felt so much love that tears fill my eyes. I keep trying to blink them back, but this moment is so overwelming and beautiful that one escaped. Jasper leaned forward and licked it up as it moved down my cheek. His tender look that crosses his face threatened to have more tears escape me.

After he finishes washing my body we move onto washing each others hair. After we are done he moves faster then I can keep track of and returns standing back infront of me and holding one of our towels. Within seconds he has me wrapped up into the towel and he is slowly drying me off, that loving smile still playing about his lips. I went to get another towel to take care of him, but realize he is already dried off and a towel is slung low around his lips. Hands clasped we walk back to my room in comfortable silence.

I am very glad to see him moving to a pile of cloths on the top of my dresser I had not noticed before. I watch him as he pulls his clothing on. He is so mesmerising in his movements. He is so confident and sure. It is definitely something sexy. I move over to the dresser and start to pull out some cloths. I open my panty drawer and suddenly the vampire is looking over my shoulder and before I can comment he is shuffling through it and I feel his erection against my back as he leans into me.

"Theses are wonderful. Which are you going to wear today?" I blinked a few times and then blushed hotly. Yeah, I know, why blush when we just took a shower together? Don't ask me, it just seems a little naughtier talking undergarments. I simply point to the green matching set and pull them out. He groans. "Definately a little devil." He murmers in my ear before he sucks it into his mouth. I gasp and close my eyes. I feel his teeth scrape lightly against my lobe and I think we should stay home after all. He pulls back and I pout but move to get dressed. A quick glance at him shows his eyes completely black with lust and his breaths a bit fast. He is taking measured breaths concentrating on calming his body down from its obviously aroused state.

When standing in my undergarments and slipping my skinny jeans upwards he ends up groaning again and turning away to glance out the window.

"This is going to be an impossible day." My phone alarm went off warning me I had ten minutes to eat and get going. We both glared at the phone as I pull my shirt over my head. I know exactly what he means. The shower may have been more of a comfort thing and not the primary emotion between us, but the lust was still there bubbling up. Maybe I should have touched him and brought him a climax before I finished washing him. At this rate I doubt that we would be able to last. I cocked my head to the side and examined him before moving forward and dropping to my knees.

I can honestly say I have never touched a man like this before, just as I had never seen one in person, but as far as I see it, we had no choice. He looked like he was going to vamp out and go on a rampage of lust if he did not get taken care of. Besides he brought me over yesterday, and I wanted him to feel as good as I did. Was I going to take it in my mouth? No, I do not think I am able to handle that yet. I would rather work up.

My hands were remarkably steady as I unzipped him and released him. I certainly enjoy the fact that he does not wear underpants of any kind. It makes it so much easier for me to touch him. He had been staring down at me with ever deepening black pants and he opened his mouth to protest, hands reaching for my shoulders. I shook my head at him and wrapped my hand around his girth causing his head to jerk back.

"So much determination." He mumbles so low I almost missed it instead I concentrated on stroking the fascination between his legs. It was slightly warmer then the rest of his body and was even harder and more ungiving then the rest of him, but he was silky as my hand moved along him, stopping at his tip to rub my thumb over his precum giving myself some lubrication for easier gliding. His hand reached down to tighten mine around him, and once he was sure I understood removed his hand. I could feel the heat of his eyes as I began to stroke once more twisting my hand at the tip. I remember something I read and my other hand I move to his balls. They are a nice weight and I cannot help the moan that leaves my mouth at his reaction to my every movement.

I give his balls a squeeze, harder then I would had he been a human man, but his preference, and almost punishing grip of my hand on his dick showed he would be able to handle it, and would probably appriciate it. He did. I loved his low growls and moans. I knew my body was definitely reacting as well as his does. God but those sounds make a flame scorch throughout me focusing on my pulsing core. I knew my nipples were hard and I can feel that I had already soaked through my satin green lacy boyshorts. I know I am panting as I move faster on him my eyes finally leaving his beautiful penis move to meet his. I do not think I have seen him so intense yet.

I am suddenly hit with more lust and I cannot stop myself from rubbing my theighs together to get friction. I am not sure how I got so lucky but the hard seam in my jeans was positioned in just the best place to rub harshly against me. Moans ripped out of my mouth. Jaspers whole body starts shuddering his member seems to get harder in my hands. I attempt to move even faster and enjoy his increasing growl before his body stiffens completely and I see absolute rapture before I am suddenly bouncing aginst the mattress of my bed.

"Sorry," He pants as he cleans himself up with his recently discarded towel. "I wasn't sure you would appricate my cum all over you." He gives a sheepish smile to me before he turns suddenly preditory and stalks forward toward the bed.

"Have I ever told you about my power?"

"Power?"I am still panting and full of lust. Amazed that I was able to bring him pleasure, I am only partially listening to him. I am actually reliving the moment of complete rapture and surrender as his body reaches its completion. He must know I am distracted and thinking about him at my mercy and how incredible I felt doing that for him because he is suddenly caging me in between in arms as I lay where I had been tossed.

"Isabella, you little minx, what are you thinking about?" He asks me.

"Bringing you to orgasm." I actually did not mean to come out and say that. I was just going to leave it at saying I was thinking about him. I was not emberressed to tell him what I am thinking about, it is just I didn't plan to be so forward , I had wanted him to be wondering what about him. Though I had no doubt he could read me and have figured it out. None the less his low growl was my response and he leaned down to sweep him tongue into my mouth and fight me for every inch of my mouth.

I am sure this would have continued on in the most enjoyable way but my final alarm went off saying it was time to leave if I wanted to get there on time. With a vicious glare at my phone Jasper pulled away and helped me to my feet. He still had that naughty grin.

"My gift is to feel others emotions. I am also able to influence them. Would you like me to show you as we drive to school?" I cannot help that I am suspicious suddenly. I have still been feeling lust but I knew that was my own. What could he possibly show me on the way? I think I would rather him calm me down so that my lust does not end up killing me. My heart is still beating entirelly to fast as it is. My breaths are still short. Suddenly I am hit with a brillant idea. I can fix the lust on our trip to school and then he can show me an example of his gift. If I was lucky it would be used to calm me back to normal much quicker then otherwise.

When we get downstairs and lock up the front door he offers me his hand and asks if he could drive us to school. I got to admit that is just perfect for my plans. Plus if he wants to show me his gift him having control of the vehicle is definitely better.

After he pulls out of the drive I instantly unbutton my pants and move my hand into them carressing my stomach on the way down. I normally would not just go strait to the fun, but I think I had all the foreplay I can handle. I did not think it would take much for me the cum.

"Fuck Isabella!" I can see him watching me his eyes once more hungry. "Tell me how you feel." He groans out the command and I am helpless to do anyless.

"I am so wet and hot. I have never been this soaked before Jasper. I can feel my clit throbbing for attention, its so swallen. Oh, touching it feels so good." I think it was more whimpered the words out then anything else. He looks like he is about to pull the vehicle over and take care of me himself. " You can't." I tell him. "We can't be late, I have to go to the front office." My finger circles my clit, though there is not a lot of room, this still feels incredible, and I can move well enough. My breath stutters as I press directly down on my bundle of nerves before moving my finger up and down, swirl, then side to side. I am so sensitive. My body arches up and my legs fall to the side more. I move my hand to pinch my nipple. A few more flicks and I am crying out Jaspers name. Not only does his name echo through the cab of the truck, but for the second time I cum in a gush. I can only hope it has not created a noticable wet spot on my jeans.

I lean my head back against the headrest as I try to control my breathing and my trembling aftershocks.

"Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck." He groans and I look over to see my Mates eyes blacked out once more. He looks almost feral now. "Oh little devil, you really shouldn't have done that."

Before I could do anything more he pounced. It's just lucky that he had indeed pulled over.


End file.
